I know from the day I first visited this web site, that it’s a sign of trouble, when I am here. And here I am again, feeling down, planning to end it. It’s been over 7 months since I’ve been extremely suicidal. I had ups and downs, but I am down again, and I want out again. Fuck this life. I shouldn’t be bornt ever.
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Is there any specific event or change in your life that drove you back into the pit? What do you think it was?
Can’t find a job, my mother is mad about it, we had a fight about it, she doesn’t even know how hard to find a job, she thinks I am a lazy ass, she won’t talk to me (literally), I have no friends, I have nobody in my life to share my pain with, to be there for me when I’m down, I am so fucking alone that I shouldn’t be exist. I feel like I am just bothering everyone near me.
Oh. Well, that is definitely a bad situation. Sometimes, older people don’t understand that the job market isn’t the same as it used to be when they got a job. It’s definitely tough right now. Our system necessitates that some people be unemployed and poor. Unfortunately, it needs some people like that so it can operate. But a lot of people don’t want to admit that. A lot of people just want to blame the poor, and call them lazy. I’m sorry that that happened to you with your mother.
Who are you living with right now? A friend?
No, I can’t afford to live with a friend, I am stuck with my mother who won’t talk to me, not even a hi, nothing. I always knew that I have no mother, but this is just justifies me, I am alone, my mother doesn’t even love me. Nobody loves me, even though I try everything, I am a fucking stray dog, happy and grateful if got something but left alone.
Dang. I can’t imagine having to live with somebody who won’t speak to me. You said that you always knew that you didn’t have a mother. What do you mean by that? Has your relationship with her always been bad? If so, then maybe it isn’t that you’re naturally unlovable. Maybe she’s just a naturally awful or unloving person.
What kind of employment would you be looking for ? For example, would you consider working in a Supermarket ?
I ask because there does tend to be vacancies fairly regularly within retail. Are you in the UK ? If yes, then get on Indeed.co.uk and you can create a CV on their website then use it to start applying that way.
NiDDA, i haven’t worked in 22 years but have been accepted at my local Supermarket via their website. There is definite hope here for you…Plus there is evey chance you’re going to meet somebody sooner or later ( just not if you stay stagnated…but you’re not going to hide away because you want change which is why you’re here reaching out )