things seem like they’re going quite well, except that i can’t escape an underlying feeling of dread and the desire to end my life. no matter how hard i try to be happy it will linger and oftentimes take over once the evening hits.
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It’s good to hear that everything seems to be going well. If you can’t escape that feeling of dread, even if things are looking good, it’s possible that you may have chronic depression. Maybe you should go to a mental health professional, just to check some things out. Even if it isn’t the case, it’s never a bad idea just to contact a professional once in a while.