my family betrays their desire for me to “be normal” and “feel better” with their actions. these are not the actions of people who believe in me. these are not the actions of people who think my illness and symptoms are legitimate. these are not the actions of people who truly care about my well being. i have no one but myself, and even then the one i have is the one i’m trying to kill. those who are not chronically depressed, who don’t feel the lurking sensation of death and negativity hiding behind every thought and action, those who can live freely and overcome their sadness and be brave, they will never understand the feeling of only having yourself to trust even when you’re constantly trying to kill yourself.
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2 comments
It doesn’t matter if the people can’t understand what you’re going through, due to them never experiencing what you’re going through. Sometimes it’s better to get support from people who have different views than you. If a person surrounds themselves with people who all feel exactly the same, then those views will be greatly reinforced, be it negative or positive. O and sorry about the family situation, most people don’t understand the full nature of mental issues, or take them seriously. However, this doesn’t mean that they don’t care about you.
Being misunderstood can be perilous. In the defense of your family, it hurts to see your loved one idling in misery, and being able to have little influence on it. Depression is very real, and it isn’t a choice, but there is choice involved in depression. You make a choice everyday to do nothing about it.
Anxiety and depression are not things that willingly resign after an indefinite amount of time, you have to go to war with them, and have faith that things can change. This is your journey not your family’s, while this is true try to put yourself in their shoes and consider how terribly helpless one would feel looking at it from the outside.
I have assumed quite a bit about you, and that is one of my character flaws, I sort of draw conclusions before seeing the full picture. I am simply speaking from experience this time, and considering how my family operated watching me battle depression.