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Should I end it?

by SuchIsLife

I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life. I’ve committed crimes that I dare not mention (I don’t feel like having the police at my doors), but just think of the three worst crimes you can think of, and I can assure you I’ve done them. (in case you can’t think of any, here’s a few: murder, rape, drugs).

I know people say things like, “It’s never too late” or “Just because you feel like you’re a burden doesn’t mean others see you that way”. I simply do not think those sayings apply to my life. Can you honestly say that the world wouldn’t be a better place without a murderer? Can you really say that you think a rapist deserves another chance? How many drug addicts do you know that have recovered and actually contributed something to humanity?

So I ask, what do people think of my situation? Is it better for everyone if I end my life?

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5 comments

thehusk 7/13/2016 - 4:51 am

I can think of a fair few drug addicts who have gone on to contribute positive things.

As for murder & rape, maybe it depends on how likely you think you are to re-offend. If it’s well behind you, then perhaps you can seek atonement.

I suppose the right response depends on your particular situation. And whether or not you feel motivated to do it depends on who you are as a person.

SuchIsLife 7/14/2016 - 2:10 am

I honestly don’t know how likely I am to do anything again. I didn’t think I was likely to do those things before the first time they happened. In both cases I lost control of myself and went and hurt people. As for motivation, I can’t say I have motivation to do anything right now. I don’t even know if I could muster the courage to kill myself.

I guess this question was more just to see if people would be willing to accept me after everything I’ve done.

anthropophobia 7/13/2016 - 4:52 pm

Hey, I’ve been addicted to just about everything you can think of. I am making my attempt at recovery through NA/AA because I’ve pretty much tried everything to not use, and I inevitably end up addicted to drugs in one way or another. I haven’t been clean long, and I haven’t contributed shit.

Really the only input I have is addiction puts you into a mindset that allows you to do terrible shit, the kinda of things you would never do clean. The only thing you need to start getting clean is desperation, or so they tell me…

SuchIsLife 7/14/2016 - 2:06 am

Just to clarify, I had already done those other things before I got addicted to drugs… I mostly started the drugs to forget the stuff I did. I would go to a counselor or something, but if I admit to committing any of the crimes I did they have to inform the authorities.

Hope you find some way to contribute in life and to stop the addiction if that’s what your looking for.

anthropophobia 7/14/2016 - 3:51 pm

hm i see, you can still do a 12 step program man. I am sure there are certain people you can confide in, and really work on yourself. There are a few people in NA I know that were committing the less than favorable crimes you mentioned above.

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