Out to be on own. I thought all sorts of stunningly wonderful things would happen – alone, I could totally focus on all my problems and get a handle on them. I would have peace. Well, wait. That didn’t happen. A change of scenery wasn’t the answer. Now I just have being broke to add to the list of reasons I don’t want to be here. This isn’t going how I planned it.
Last night I started writing a list of my favourite 100 songs. I realise that nobody in my life would even know any, most likely. I don’t let people in. I never have been able to. I have an old fashioned journal that I’ve been writing in sporadically for the past couple of years. It might be helpful for my family if and when I leave. But things keep popping up, and I feel guilty to go now. I know they’re excuses, but I just want it to be perfect. Maybe it’s just not the right time yet…
9 comments
What are your favourite songs?
Lots of old ones you probably have never hear of, if you’re under 30.
Old music is great.
Idk, I feel like living alone is ideal. You should look for free mental health support groups in your area. They’re god damn refreshing, getting around people who flat out will not judge you in any way. I think the acronym for one of the organizations that put the groups together is called NAMI (something like that, a google search will reveal more I reckon), and the other one I can’t remember the exact name, something like bipolar depression something something (i’m sure google can get more specific on that one as well!). Another option is calling your local hospitals and getting transferred to their mental health areas. The secretary should be privy to all the information on free support groups offered by the specific hospital, I know my local hospital has at least 1 free anxiety support group. Oh and lastly, meetup.com is super good for meeting groups of people with similar ailments or even similar interests!!
I guess what I am trying to emphasize is you don’t have to be alone, if you actively seek things out there are always little facets to be a part of. Give it a shot, seriously those support groups might sound like pure garbage, but if you’re open minded some wonderful things can come of it. Also if there are no meetups that interest you on the site, starting a group is pretty cheap. I started an anxiety depression support group in Denver Colorado, I spent a short period there, and about 8 people showed up the first week I held a meetup. People genuinely wanted to hang out afterwards as well, they were all extremely interesting and cool people, and the vibe was extremely laid back and welcoming.
Thanks so much for your thoughtful reply. My biggest issue unfortunately is physical, and there’s very little chance of getting better from that. I wish I could say more because you have obviously spent so much time writing your reply, but I just know that my physical health is so bad, I just can’t fix it. Thanks again 🙂
I am a really fast typer, and SP is one of many things I do. Anyway, sorry I couldn’t help, every time I give advice it’s unwarranted and unwanted, so no worries!
I’ll just leave you with a few good songs instead.
Fiona Apple – Criminal (just one of many incredible songs tbh)
Fingers-cutt Megamachine – Paint You Shoes
Susanne Vega – Tom’s Diner
Erm, thanks. They are my style… totally… yes they are. *blinks*
Alanis Morissette – Uninvited. I would say this is one of my newer ones. The guitar solo at the end.. omg… chills!
you just moved out, it’s going to take time to set yourself up, first you have a drink then you get to work. things get better little by little. 🙂