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by whatevs

I got a text from my girlfriend today. She told me there’s another guy who she likes. She says she loves me ano not him, and that she just felt something for him briefly… Because we hadn’t talked in a few days (she’s been traveling). So I don’t know why it hurts but it hurts so fucking much. I nearly had a panic attack when she first told me and I’ve just been sad since. She’s the first person in a while I’ve fully trusted, and I feel like I can always trust her. But i don’t know anymore.

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anhedonic apathy 8/4/2016 - 1:28 am

Why would she even bring it up. Almost like she was intentionally trying to make you jealous for some reason.

maggie01 8/4/2016 - 1:43 am

I understand what you are feeling. I was cheated on before, and I know it may not be the same exact situation but I know how much it hurts to be played. Just to have your trust shattered. I can tell you so many things about how to get better, but I think the best I can say is, allow yourself to be sad for a while. Understand that this does hurt and that its okay to hurt. Don’t drown forever, but just acknowledge your sadness, because that’s the only way youll be able to let it go. Good luck. You deserve to be loved.

SadPotato 8/4/2016 - 2:15 am

Anhedonic apathy, the more likely reason is that she felt guilty, and wants to be truthful with whatevs, because she loves him.

She telling you is a good thing, even if it doesn’t feel like it. It shows that you can still trust her. She could just as well have kept this to herself, but she didn’t. She didn’t want to keep secrets from you. It’s okay to feel panicky after such a thing, but don’t overreact. Like she said, she still loves you, and only you.

anhedonic apathy 8/4/2016 - 2:22 am

Yea that is quite likely SadPotato. I will admit that I can be rather cynical when judging the motivations behind other peoples actions. So I tend to see a darker intent than what might actually exist.

anhedonic apathy 8/4/2016 - 2:23 am

Especially as it pertains to relationships I tend to view people as manipulative and untrustworthy

day2day 8/4/2016 - 2:30 am

it’s pretty strange the hold that girls can have over us. I was about to say that girls mean nothing to me, that I figured them out-but then I recalled not long ago I was in a similar situation and was pretty hung up over a girl who I dated for a short while but then she went off with another guy and I was very broken up for a few days over that.

You don’t even realize you’re falling in love with someone until you feel you’re about to lose them and your world comes crashing down around you-when you do. I don’t really have any good advice for you, aside from saying that if you were to leave her, time does heal all wounds. I have almost no feelings for that girl anymore and I’d say I got over her a month or so after.

I’ve always been the romantic type but I’ve learned it’s better to try not to get too emotionally involved with someone. For now I’m just in it for the sex, fun and nothing more. It’s not worth the pain and anguish of loving and losing-because it’s your own personal hell-hole you go through and the other person who dumps you, cares nothing about. Nothing good comes from it. Though if the woman of my dreams comes along who’ll be committed then I might make an exception.

At the same time on occasion I find myself growing weary of life. There isn’t much that’s keeping me interested and more negatives than positives to deal with. I had planned to try to live into old age if I could but I may just shorten that a lot if my life doesn’t get much better over the next year or two. Some days I’m tired of living.

And about your situation-if you feel she’s very honest and says that she didn’t cheat on you or anything then you really have nothing to worry about. If you’re very sure she is cheating, then you need to decide whether you’ll stay with her or not. But based on what you wrote, I don’t think she’s cheating.

shatterediris 8/4/2016 - 6:23 am

I agree with the potato of sadness that it’s probably a good thing that she told you…. Her not keeping secrets like that is probably actually good, it does show she wants to be honest with you (which takes trust, and saying things that may actually hurt the other person) so it probably isn’t bad.

deadmanliving(hopefullyhopeful) 8/4/2016 - 9:10 am

As a jaded old cynical bastard I’d probably at least ask more questions about it. Its as reasonable to assume shes settling for you because that guy didn’t want her or he hit and quit. I know that sucks too and she may have done nothing but the only thing better than her not telling you any thing is not doing anything in the first place

Huston23 8/4/2016 - 2:50 pm

Atleast you know your attractive you lucky son of a *****.

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