its been only 4 years since I joined SP and I feel like I have made a lot of good in-depth relationships / friends for life. I have seen a lot of people come and go in and out of my life but you guys seem to be the most stable, reliable and compassionate people I have ever met. I am so sorry that each and everyone of you are struggling. No one asked for this terrible monster to be inside us but we have to live with it to the best of our ability, I am so triggered and so depressed right now that trying to cope in a healthy way seems un likely for me. I want to self harm… The thoughts that eat my alive to do so get stronger as each and every moment I sit here and write this post.. I am not taking my medicine right now, I am currently in a dorm room and I am afraid to tell my roommate that I take medicine, I have to refill my medicine box but I have not been able too, I am too busy feeling like I will get judged for it. I am trying to tame the intense depressing emotions that sit inside my brain but I can never seem to be able to.