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76 posts and 4 years later…

by falling_soup

its been only 4 years since I joined SP and I feel like I have made a lot of good in-depth relationships / friends for life. I have seen a lot of people come and go in and out of my life but you guys seem to be the most stable, reliable and compassionate people I have ever met. I am so sorry that each and everyone of you are struggling. No one asked for this terrible monster to be inside us but we have to live with it to the best of our ability, I am so triggered and so depressed right now that trying to cope in a healthy way seems un likely for me. I want to self harm… The thoughts that eat my alive to do so get stronger as each and every moment I sit here and write this post.. I am not taking my medicine right now, I am currently in a dorm room and I am afraid to tell my roommate that I take medicine, I have to refill my medicine box but I have not been able too, I am too busy feeling like I will get judged for it. I am trying to tame the  intense depressing emotions that sit inside my brain but I can never seem to be able to.



Love Always,









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Lowlight 8/30/2016 - 10:30 am

4 years, damn… Even though you speak of self-harm in this post i’m getting a good vibe. Like hope. Some say that hope is a mistake, but it is really all i have. Not letting go of it any time soon

playdead4fun 8/30/2016 - 11:38 am

I haven’t met you before. I’ve been here for some months only but I feel the same…friends from here are the most stable and good people I’ve ever met.
They come and go but they are always full of empathy as they know what really is life.

About you not telling about your medicine…sometimes we give too much importance to that…tell or not is your business…may be we avoid tell certain things to others and end up surprised they don’t mind at all about what to us was a big issue!

And about self harm…do it or not is also your business…only yours.
If you would self harm eating junk food till blow up in 600pounds no one would say anything. As it’s cutting people do not understand and think they can judge you. But they can’t.

Dorms are depressive places in my opinion…I am not surprised you want to lie down.

Here my SP colleague…my wish is give up as I have already lost the war anyway. Just waiting to the final announcement… But I’ll take a book and read…just to feel better for the rest of the day…at least this I still can.
All the rest those jerks stole from me.

Oathkeeper 8/30/2016 - 3:36 pm

You don’t have to say anything or justify why you take medicine, and if you feel like you do have to say something to your roommate about it, just keep it simple. People aren’t as judgemental as we torture ourselves thinking, most aren’t at least…

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