Why its very painful, Why I can’t forget her, why its very painful to remember her, why its very painful to try, to try speak with her, why its very painful to stop talking with her, thinking about her, stop thinking about her.
Why Why Why
I so want to spend time with her, I so want to see her, I so want to be like before, to listen to here songs, her voice, her laugh.
She was very want me, in the beginning, very interesting in every thing about me, want to know every thing about me, want to see me every day, every second, want to hear me, to text me, to touch me, to see my laugh, and I was in very dark side, I was in the shadow, I was very hopeless about this life, and when I just fell again about this life, when I realize that maybe there is a second chance for me in this life, maybe all things, all bad things in life it will vanish in my thoughts, in my very stupid mind, I was very stupid to not act like now.
I was not telling my emotions to anyone, she was always told me that, because what I live, always I was telling her that, I telling her the bad things and the good things in my life, the ugly things, but I was not telling her every thing about my past, because I was still thinking about it, still not forgave life about it, fell like nobody will care about me, about what I live, about who I am….
In the last 3 months, I become more better, I start to express my emotions, I start to say to her “I love you” every day, every time I text to her, I send to her love emoji, I start to say beautiful nice words to her, but something changed, she stop saying anything in return, she stop saying she love me, she stop every thing, she stop talking to me except when I talk to her, she stop asking me questions, she stop asking me what Im doing, and she stop saying to me any thing in her life, before she was telling me everything, now nothing….
Now… she just stop talking with me, she is talking with me, but no, not like before, she is not listening to me, she stopped asking me question, she stopped interesting about anything about me, always tell me she is tired, at work, dont have time, but the true thing, she have a time, she now in a long vacation, about three weeks, and she is not talking with me anymore, I just dont know why, its very painful.
one time I send her a message in the morning, she dont answer any thing until the next day, all the day she spend it with her friends, she spend all time, and dont want to spend second with me.
I dont know why when I start to change she just move away, when I start to be with her every day she just stop want that, when I start to believe that I dont want to live alone, and die alone, she just go…
maybe I should go back to who I am, to think again, I supposed to live alone, die alone, but I dont know why the pain in my chest killing me, my heart is boiling.
I missed my old me, she just changed me…… and go.