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Self-destruction is a beautiful thing

by mranony

My body feels numb but my heart continues to ache. If only I could cut my heart. So I’ll just cut my flesh.

No hope. No faith. Just nothing.

I hope to die. I hope to fall down. I hope for my body to finally give in.

There are no more beautiful things for me to create. My mind pukes out black ***. I can’t create beautiful things.

Self-destruction is a beautiful thing. So I’ll create that. Cut my flesh. Let the blood flow out. Let my eyes see the beautiful thing I’ve created.

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6 comments

grae 8/7/2016 - 7:33 am

You express beautifully. I don’t know much you do.

mranony 8/9/2016 - 7:41 pm

@grae Thank you πŸ™‚
To be honest I was out of it when I typed this so I have no idea how it turned to πŸ˜€
I’m glad you appreciated it.

rocketman 8/7/2016 - 10:02 am

you are completely wrong! i done the self destruction thing all it does is makes things worse, you want to do the opposite then things will get better, don’t waste your time being negative it just takes you down, you think that’s what you want but you will wake up one day and say what have i done! wake up now and turn things around. i did and life is much more tolerable.

mranony 8/9/2016 - 7:47 pm

@rocketman Thank you for the advice. πŸ™‚
Well there are times when I look at it and frown on disgust but in the same time it’s okay. It’s there in my skin but it’s okay. Sometimes, it feels just right. Life could tolerateble, I agree. I just need the right thoughts for a good day.

freeroma 8/7/2016 - 10:32 pm

hey anony. i’m glad i saw this.
I hope you reread that post when you responded and the video helped again..

beauty in the eye of the beholder and all that jazz. what’s wrong with black, anyway?
everywhere besides light it’s color combined, if you look at something like a pen you can bleed out the different hues and it’s really an incredible combination.
and i remember your picture, the depression as black goop. you’re more than it even under the influence. expression can be beautiful even when it hurts or seems ugly. (though.. maybe not the Literal hurt, hey?)

Meh, you’re already tough. just got to use that for yourself instead of against you. I’ll stick to hoping for better days for ya; best i can do in lieu of solid advice. i’ve felt that literal heartache and it’s.. i don’t know what to do with it.

As for me..
Well. still sorting that out.
in terms of sweetener, though; actual, french vanilla creamer smells like cotton candy. least the brand at work, anyway.
i hope next time’ll be a late reply, too. i’d like to think it means life isn’t being as bitter and you can enjoy it.

mranony 8/9/2016 - 7:38 pm

@freeroma IM SORRY AGAIN FOR THE LATE REPLY. And yes, you are right, things became better these few days. My brother and I are getting along these past few days.

Beautiful words as always~

Your comments are one of my sweetener too and an eye opener. Cuz sometimes I need it when my mind is a fucking mess.

Thank you again for these words πŸ™‚

I agree, French vanilla cream really smells like cotton candy. I’m glad you’re doing okay πŸ™‚
We folks will soon have the perfect coffee. Just gotta keep stirring.

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