What Is Wrong With Me

What is the matter with me, I feel this way and I cant believe it I know others feel the way I do and when I feel like this I know I’m being selfish I know I’m hurting others and that’s the last thing I ever want to, I cant even handle myself anymore I disgust myself I cant even think right I cant feel right I tell one of my best friends and I never wanted them to know this side of me I just wanted them to see me for how they see me a kind, amazing best friend that would protect them no matter the cost and what hurts a little is that they know the way I feel about them but they don’t feel the same about me and now that they know how I feel about them and that they know how I really feel about myself I feel like they don’t see me the same, the way I see how they see me Is that I’m hopeless and I’m not worth dealing with and  that they want to get away from me. So im sorry that you know the real me, I have been trying to send the pain below but its suffocating me and I feel broken and lonesome and I just cant escape it anymore my head is overflowing my mind is on fire and its suffocating my thoughts with the smoke. I would just like for you to know im sorry and im trying to get away because I dont want to cause you any pain that’s the last thing I want for you I never want to hurt you and I dont want to let you go but it feels like the best because I feel like that now I know that you know im like this im just gonna keep coming to you about my fellings and your gonna get fed up with me and I dont want that I just want to be there fo you like I always have been but I feel like this and its hard on me and I dont want it to be hard on you so what im trying to say is im sorry for all the pain ive caused and before I cause more I have to stop I need to do something and I dont know what im sorry and thank you for reading this.