A promise I can’t keep.

I promised my best friend here at school that I wouldn’t do anything to hurt myself, I sit here doing my best trying not to do anything idiotic of course but I want to take pills and break a clean razor, the intensity of my thought process right now is inexplicable. My personal best isn’t enough to get through this day, every bone in my body wants to keep my promise but my heart and brain really could care less. I am always trying to do what I have to do in order to make it through the day but the strength left in me is wearing down. The stress upon stress and the intensity of my emotions that the Bi-polar creates is out of control. I am doing what I can do to take care of myself and get my life in order but the amount of heartache I feel from the depression is just another reason for me to let go. I’m so sorry Rory but I just can’t keep my promise anymore.