I haven’t posted in forever, but I recently started thinking of this site because of what has happened. I’m a monster, I’m a horribly fucked up person. Apparently I’m great at breaking hearts. Apparently I get people to fall in love with me and then once I have that power I break their fucking hearts and to me this makes me a monster. I don’t want to hurt people, I don’t want to be this way, but I can’t seem to change. I’ve hurt so many people being the way I am and it’s not okay. I wish I could change, I wish I could stop being like this, I wish so many things, but none of it has ever come true. I guess I’m not important enough to be seen or heard or even remembered. I guess that’s what it will always come too. Being remembered, even if it’s only by one person. Is that what we’ve come down too? I may sound like I’m just ranting, which part of me is, but part of me is also making a very good point, it’s up to you if you want to see it or not.
~Kninea
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7 comments
I’m just like you. There were guys who fell in love with me but i couldn’t make myself love them back. I also ended up not talking with them. But I was crying over the guys I fell in love with and I always question how come they can’t love me back when those other guys did. Then I realized that maybe it’s karma. It’s because of how I couldn’t make myself love those guys. But that’s absurd. what is that very good point?
Is that what most people strive for?? To be remembered? That’s my point. And don’t think that’s so absurd….. That same thought has crossed my mind more than a few times. It’s Karma for loving ones that didn’t love me and not loving ones who did love me. How many times has it crossed your mind?
i agree with you that most people strive for them to be remembered. because if they feel like they’re remembered, they feel like they’re being recognized by people. and what i meant by absurd was the fact that karma is the one responsible for others not loving me back.
That makes sense and yes, that’s exactly what I was trying to explain.
Shut the fuck up man you are blessed cause you could and had love dumbass
I was like that too and i never understood why i had that need to hurt guys after i knew they were in love with me…it was so weird and I felt hearless while doing it…but in my case after we broke up i felt super bad and i had a hard time trying to get over them, i even cried because of the break up (that i totally caused (?) But i found a guy who I truly learned to love and we have been together for 3 years…I dont feel like hurting him so I guess that time is over…
i just hope its a temporary thing for you too.
It sucks to be rejected, but I’m pretty sure you don’t love rejecting either people either. It’s not like you have malicious intentions that made them fall in love with you (right?). At least you’re being honest with yourself. Stick to your friends who know that you aren’t a monster and don’t listen to those who hate you because of the falling in love issue. Honestly, people these days make their love so disgusting and hateful, instead of pure and what it is.