So today was the day that I was looking forward to. I was going to bake some cookies, have a nice Bbq ribs for dinner, do 3 diys that I wanted to do for the longest time, and some other stuff.
I had an horrible month, and I was expecting this day to be perfect, because I studied so hard these last weeks for some exams, and since they ended this morning, I deserved a little reward, right?
Everyday something bad happens to me. I am not even kidding. But I thought today was gonna be the greatest day I could have. And I woke up with a feeling that this was going to work. It had to, because I am tired of trying.
But this afternoon someone stole my pencil case at uni. And that seems so stupid, so childish, and so irrelevant. But that hit me so hard.
Everyday is a struggle, I do my best and everything falls apart, but today was going to be my special happy day, and it got ruined over a stupid pencil case.
I really take care of my stuff, it was a special pencil case because there was a little gold medal that I bought from Italy inside of it.
I have BPD, and the fact that it went missing just triggered me so hard. I spent my entire day at bed, I didn’t do anything besides cutting, I cried so hard, because I wanted this day to be perfect, and it ended up being just as bad as the others.
It seems like I don’t deserve a happy good day, you know?