I don’t undetstand why it seems the only thing that’s going to ease my heartache and pain is just for me to kill myself. I miss you Chelsea!! Every day….and I hate what I did, who I was. I just can’t keep doing this. I don’t want to be in this world without you anymore. I know I’m going to have to kill myself to end my pain, to stop my heart and soul from hurting SO bad. I know how, when, where, and with what. I just have to somehow save the $600 for the gun I want. I gotta stop my pain baby…..too bad when I do you won’t care I’m gone. 7.2billion people in the world, and I only want you, just one. 7.2billion people, and I’m the only one who truly “needs” you…..<\3
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totally dont know ur back story but… kinda a dick thing to lay on someone dude. sorry. just saying.
Perhaps you should take her out of your “Wishlist”…
I have a story, even though it might not be the same, you might be able to draw a lesson from it as I have…
I once used an online shopping service which had a “Wishlist” on it. I added some stuff that I want, and I would check on my wishlist daily, waiting for them to go on sale for a discount. I’d save like only a few bucks but hey, why not.
One time, something I really really want went on sale, and I immediately tried to buy it.
Hey ho, it failed. My credit card was rejected. I tried contacting support, but the problem wasn’t resolved, I tried to purchase something else somewhere, and it worked, so the problem wasn’t in my credit card either.
Needless to say, I was depressed by this little incident. Sounds silly, I know, getting all worked up for a discount of a few bucks.
For 2 days, that was all I had thought about, how to buy that thing. Up to a point where I was like “Screw this” and just deleted all my wishlist items.
And what do you know, it wasn’t the end of the world! And the best part is, I wasn’t depressed anymore! All because I deleted it from my wishlist.
What I’m trying to say (I’m not so good at explaining things lol) is that, sometimes, the things we think we “REALLY REALLY HAVE TO HAVE LIKE, I WOULD RATHER DIE THAN NOT HAVING IT” are things we could have really lived without, albeit with some amount of effort.
I loved some people, lost some people, but live goes on. Heck I lost 2 people I once put in the category “I can’t live without”. I lost them both. Well… I’m still here…
It won’t be easy, my situation was probably not the same as you, but be strong. Be. Strong. A rough sea makes a good captain, no?
I know true love exists, I am sure of it. So, if it didn’t work out, perhaps that’s our sign “there’s someone else out there just for you, all you need to do is wait…”
Well, this might help you, might not. Oh, with $600 you could feed a lot of orphans… or help a person pay rent… Helping people helped me once upon a time.. maybe helping other people, even if just with a smile when you meet them, will help yourself….