I’m not really sure of what is happening with me, and also not sure of why I’m writing about this. I would like to start by apologizing for any grammatical errors that I may commit, this is not my native language, but furthermore, here it is:
Most of the time I feel in extremes, those extremes are never really comfortable, when I’m high on energy I’m much more pendent to disappoint myself and in contrapuntal, when low, of feeling lonely or hopeless — it’s a living hell.
Maniac or depressed I’m always anxious, always worried about what people are thinking of me or if things gonna be exactly how I expect them to be, if they not I can get really disappointed or sorry, and this may last for, what it seems to me, an eternity.
But today I’m feeling the most strange thing. I feel totally disconnected. Things don’t seem to be hopeless, but tasteless, not even lonely, but far way. I’m sure everyone included myself have felt something like that before, but this time is unusual, it’s like the last wire that connects me to this world has been cut, and, having nothing more to loose, I’m totally apart from the world.
Well, this is it, I just wanted to share it, sorry if I took much of your time.
1 comment
Time is the only thing that matters here in this world, a “natural” currency, if you will. You have not wasted mine. I know the feeling you have, I can relate to it. It is (to be simply put) depression at its finest moments. When it finally lowers it’s comforting veil around you, your ability to perceive and to feel is entirely lost. No more emotions, no more thoughts to share, any interests you may have had before the veil are now meaningless and dull. It’s like the world just went dark, and any connections you may have had to the outside world and all of it’s oblivious inhabitants have been severed. At this point you should take the time to get to know your true self. You may not be alone, because you have everyone on this fantastic forum to relate and converse with you. But the world is all but gone. Take this time to mull over anything you feel you haven’t been able to comprehend. It’s what I always do. Just some advice my friend, and by the way I was able to understand everything you said so don’t worry about confusing anyone =]