I’m so scared

This week is just endless. Everything that happens is too much. My sister had he baby on Sunday. And that should be exciting. But everytime I go visit and see the baby I want to cry. I want to cry because the world is so shitty and so many things can happen to ruin everything for this kid and my sister. And sometimes I want the bad things to happen. I want a reason for the dullness in my head. I want the dullness to turn to agony to be able to feel something. My dad started arguing with my mom when the baby was born because my dad feels like he’s losing his daughter because now she has her own little family with her boyfriend. And he thinks she’s not going to rely on him anymore. And everything is slowly crumbling around this perfect little image and I can feel it falling apart. I know it’s happening but I know it shouldn’t and I’m just so scared of all the things that might happen.