At long last the universe decides to take you too, my best and only friend. It’s much worse to know that instead of being dead, you have simply decided that I am no longer of any value to you. All those nights we spent our breath and our time discussing the woeful matters of life and all of its complexity…all of it’s irrelevance. We could have had so much more, if only you wanted that. But you backed away in the crowd, and I have lost you too. And I know that it can only be for the best. I would have destroyed you, brought you down into the snake pit to spend the rest of your days with me. I have a reputation for being the best of friends with depression itself. And though you are well acquainted with him as well, you are not meant to endure his ugly ways forever like I am. You have a real chance to make it here in this world. I have unfortunately been dealt a bad hand, and I don’t even know how to play cards. It just hurts to see you go out into the world and leave me behind. I would have thought we would go together and see what life has to offer us. But you love him, don’t you…after all the fighting and the things he has said and done…you still love him over me. I hope that the both of you spend a happy life together, even though I hovered my fingers over the keys to type “I hope the both of you rot in this disgusting world, miserably surviving each day and each horrible situation till you take your last breath and join me in hell.” But I didn’t say that…I would lying to you and to myself. I want what’s best for you, and only you can decide that for yourself. You have no idea how badly I want to die now more than ever…the thought of being truly alone is one that I can no longer bear to have rocking back and forth in my head. I love you so much. And you will never know that now.