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The moment when

by Lacalamity

you realize that “how are you ?” is a rhetorical question at this point in life.

I want to scream everyday, but can’t find the energy to do so.

My list of things that matter gets shorter everyday.

And in the end, I will realize too late, that yes, those things have mattered all the time, but the darkness in my head created it’s own reality, making me distance myself from…me…

I just needed to get this one out.

stay alive guys, best of luck


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muspelhem 10/8/2016 - 1:52 pm

I totally know what you mean. Opportunities passing you by by the bucketload, but you are too preoccupied with pain to pay attention, and besides, you would not feel it.

Is there any obvious cause to your emptiness? I mean, for me, it used to be my medication, and now it is chronic sleep deprivation coupled with addiction.

Lacalamity 10/9/2016 - 1:08 pm

First thing that may come in mind is my broken heart.

I also distance myself from me, I forgot how to feel sometimes.

And some “skeptic world views”, like questioning too much what is real and what not, torturing myself with questions.

but it is too much, I answered it a million times in my head over and over, I just want the pain to stop, my head and my heart, literally hurt at this point everyday. I just can’t stand it anymore.

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