I have seen my future and my childrens,childrens as well

I have realized that my whole existence is meaningless. but not only my life my family my friends my entire race.

I was born to be thief and liar for my entire life .so was my parents there parents and so forth .

The other day I realized the biggest dream anyone of my entire ethnicity is get married have a family and fancy cars and things . the value of said fancy things depends on who you marry .

All of the people I know kill them selfs for this dream and so did I when I was married and that’s it .

I saw my future getting remarried having family , if I have a girl train her to be a thief and liar . If I have a son God willing he will like sell a car or pass flyers for his wife .

All while hoping my son finds a girl who lies and is thief as well .praying she will give him the same mediocre life and the same thing will happen for there kids and so on For who knows how many generations.

The next generation of all my friends kids and my family’s kids …biggest dreams will be to have the same crap life of there parents .if any of those children have bigger dreams will be shot down .

A boy might have a chance to chace his dream , but as soon as pier pressure kicks in he will let go of the dream.

Girls have no chance in hell I really wish my parents gave me minimum education.  Like reading writing 1+1=2 .If I did not got to school for so long I would have never began to dream and realize I would never have chance to go after it .

I wish my parents would have crushed that part of me . the little girl who dreamt of being a ballerina or a writer or a artist  when I was little. And just said this is your life and this is how it will always be . so  maybe I could have been what eveybody expects of me .

And when I hear ” your not like everybody else you can’t be like them it’s not right ” I would not feel like slashing my wrist .

I  have been actually jealous of the people I know who are born and raised in America and are completely uneducated. because there small dream of one day owning a Ford pick up truck and Louis Vuitton hand bag and few pairs of Gucci loafers and feel like the  fucking shit. Is what they chase after and there happy and ok with that.

I wish I could be ok with that but knowing that that’s my genertion and the next and the next generation . biggest accomplishment will be seeing there children do the same fucking thing as they did .

Really makes me want to puke and fucking drop dead .