… I will tell you guys a story…
a story of a 12 years old girl, after falling her last suicide attempt, say to herself:
“i cant do this… hurt them all like this, but… i NEED to end … all this.. ” and after thinking on all her plans, she notice a problem on them. She wasnt old enough to buy the pills, or to walk by herself without being missed or noticed. She couldnt find a place for herself.
Then she said:
“I will give myself some years, to my plan some time… i need to make it work, i need to make it right”
She didnt want her friends and her family to suffer, she wanted them to hate her, to despise her, but not to miss her, in any way. She knew that, if she could make they all hate her, they would smile at her funeral.
“twenty years old, its is enough, enough to know if i really hate life, enough to know myself, enough to make the path for my own death”
now im about to make twenty, i still fucking hate it, not my life, but being alive. Nothing changed… and the best/worst is, my plan is almost complete.
Should i do it on my birthday?