Dear Suicide,
I’ve been coping with depression and stress my majority my entire life. Don’t really like talking to people about my issue’s or the why am feeling. Some days can be good and others day just completely HELL.
I use to think selfish of myself and thought I had it worst than anyone and always trying be the tough guy nothing get to me. What can anyone do that can possibly give me back my life that i had missed out on the past years. Short story about me. Living in multiple houses, only child out of four that didn’t have a father to look up on. So, I had to watch other people father and uncles to realize what it takes to be a good man. Mother was always working or out. I’ve barely spent anytime or seen her. I didn’t get along with my siblings, we can never see eye to eye with each other. I were like the out cast out of my household. The kid that stayed to himself and out of everyone’s way. My emotions were never showed and I didn’t know how to vent to people, so I started writing the way I felt about certain people and the things that can’t leave my head so easily. I’ve had many suicidal thoughts and attempted suicide but failed thanks to a couple friends that pulled my out the 7 foot pool. My life really sucked at that moment, I’ve been shot on my hip, had guns pointed at me for being mistaken as someone else just walking to my cousin house. Uncle got shot at a gas station and two cousins shot at party after getting into a fight. I prayed and cried but I had reached that point i’ll see no point of living anymore still I was a video on youtube, in my health class. Everything thats happens to me makes me stronger person.
Amanda Todd, for those who doesn’t knows her story should really take something from it. She were 15 year old girl from canada, Born Nov 27, 1996 and took her own life Oct 10, 2012. Todd was new to exploring video chat. She will go to different chat share conversations with strangers. she started talking to random strangers, came across a certain guy that convinced Todd to expose her breasts on camera.. Later down the guy reached back out to Todd, blackmailed her with threats of sharing the picture of her exposure to her friends unless if she wouldn’t put a show on for him. So, she didn’t follow through with the threat just ignored it. Christmas break of 2010 police showed up to her front door to inform that Todd that the photo of her exposing herself is popping up all over the internet. That event made her go through depression, anxiety, and panic attacks because of the people around her school would bully. After, they moved to a new town and school, Todd will handle her pain with drugs and liquor. When she thought it was over the guy found out about her where about and started sending and posting the picture on their social media. A side from that another guy that she were friends with, ending up having sexual incourse together. Todd was unaware of him having a girlfriend, which caused her to be called names and beaten up. After the fight she attempted suicide by drinking bleach, but failed when she had got her stomach pumped. Kids, continued with the insults and which made her wish she was died. She committed suicide after, she made a youtube video telling her story.
See this made me realize, no matter you as a person doesn’t have to go through or witness a thoughts or attempts or suicide. It would be the answer, in fact rather not make that an option to take. Advice is if you need someone to talk to and nothing seems to be going right snf your life is just and shames then finds someone or write your thoughts down and have someone read what been going on inside your life. Let somebody wear your shoes and have them know what going, but taking your on own life is not the way to go.
(It’s a very mean and nasty place and I don’t care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain’t about how hard you hit. It’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. (Rocky Balboa)) Some of the most experiencing words I’ve heard but very true. If we let depression, stress, people, etc… take a toll on our life. There’s also, a suicide hotline of people that care and willing to help with any issues that may be able to resolve your problems. (National Suicide Lifeline- Chat Online, Text, Call 1(800) 273-8255) because you are not alone. Life is full of positive and negative surprises, we should embrace the negative and make it into a positive. Your life is precious, be proud of who you are and continue to be beautiful.
Sincerely,
…….