what happened

what the fuck happened to my life? i had all these dreams and ambitions of what i wanted to do in my life. and its just the small things im missing. the stupid first date with a guy. the having a best friend and just going out and doing things on a whim. like going at 1am to stare at the stars. you know just the silly stupid shit youre suppose to do when your young. all i do with my life is work and watch tv and play fucking world of warcraft. all my friends are gone and in college. they rarely text me. the one person i hang out with a lot now i dont know if i even like her. shes just not the person who gets me. the only person i know who fucking understands me and the only person im considering to be my best friend at this point is this guy i met on fucking world of warcraft who lives in fucking canada 2,000miles away from me. i want the fucking storybook life. i want my life to be happy and joyful and filled with tiny successes. i hate this so much right now. i had a dream last night. a good one. where i went to canada and got to see my best friend and hang out and we had so much fun in that dream. so much fun. i want that fun. the most i can do right now is send him a christmas card and talk to him through facebook. and right now im just watching gilmore girls. the new miniseries of it. and im just watching how when the show originally ended they were just so happy and setting off on adventures. but now its showing that life isnt perfect for them. how life doesnt work out the way you want it to. but you can do small things to make it better. but im not in the position to do those things. i dont have the friends to help me make my life better. and i just need someone near me to help me through this. but i dont have that. i dont have anyone close to me. that person lives in fucking canada.