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2016 the eye-opening year

by Ariayanna1994

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The beginning of 2016 was when I got myself together and had my three beautiful children full time I was working as well. I shelters many people family or not and fed the mouth of people who talked bad upon me. I’ve never been the perfect mom sister daughter but I always made sure everyone was good and taking care. October of 2016 was when I experimented with a certain drug. No the drug did not ruin my life but it changed me as a person. The same month landlord told me I could not renew my lease because another lady needed a place to stay with her children so I have been homeless since November 1st of 2016. I found out I had a warrant for my arrest because they subpoenaed me to go to court for child support case I opened on my sons dad. I had to work that day and we were already short on money and I figured to take care of my children me going to work was a better choice. My drug usage started getting heavier when I had to send my kids to my grandparents house. I have been going from hotel to hotel and finally lost my job because they found out I had a warrant. I had to Resort to prostitution to provide for my kids and my family. I slow down on my drug usage so I could focus on living a better life. Even through my struggle I made sure my family and my friends we’re taking care of. I have no help for myself and don’t know how to cope with what’s going on. I failed as a mother a daughter and a sister. I have no reason to live. Everyone in my life has been a blessing or a lesson and I always learned a lesson instead of finding someone who was my blessing. I can’t even care for my kids like a real mom so what’s the point of living. Being a single mom is tough but I can’t provide for them or myself. If you knew more about my life you probably feel the same way too. I’m 22 years old and have fought a tough battle. They say God wouldn’t give you more than you could handle but I have reached my limit. Thank you to everyone who has made a positive impact on my life and I pray I have made a positive impact on at least one person’s life. That is my story of 2016 the eye-opening year. Thank you for reading.

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Darknessisyourcandle 12/30/2016 - 3:46 pm

It seems like you’ve had a really rough time of everything. You need to know that you weren’t a failure as a Mom, Daughter or sister you just had a really rough ride and couldn’t keep up. I’m so sorry you feel that way. But you are 22 years old and so young, I know it might seem like the end but I really hope you find a way to push through this and make it another year. It’s very possible that you have been a blessing in someone elses life and you just don’t know it. Message me if you want to chat ever – I’m good at that and talking is the most important thing! šŸ™‚

SeeSmith 12/30/2016 - 6:02 pm

Not being able to take care of your kids doesn’t disqualify you as a parent. Really, don’t believe the bad things people say about that. You fell into a hole. It happens. You got your kids to their grandparents so they would be safe.

There are people that will drag their kids into black hole with them! There are people that drive wasted with their kids in the back seat with no seatbelt. You aren’t that bad.

You will climb out of that hole and get back on your feet again. You will reach a point that you can look back on this year and see the ways you were blessed even though right now it seems like everything is falling apart.

I know it’s tough. I know you must think that your kids are embarrassed or ashamed of you. They aren’t! They just don’t fully understand what being an adult can mean. You will explain it to them one day soon. You will show them that being down on your luck doesn’t make you less of a person. You will be stronger for this. Your kids will be stronger, too.

Walk in the light when you can.

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