ah fark

Feeling so terribly restless, full of bitter inadequacy! I drift in and out of boredom watching netflix while staring at a video chat, and wondering if existing is really worth all of the inner turmoil. I feel like my mind is deteriorating. After any social interaction I feel hopelessly retarded, my social skills are starved of stimulation. I am lonely, yet I want to be alone at the same time. I want to numb my mind, but I also know that’s only asking for more hell in the long run.