I don’t know how to explain what I’m feeling. I think I might be addicted (?) or I like being sad. Like even when I’m happy and I’m in a good place, suddenly at the middle of the night, I try to find some reason to make myself sad and angry about myself. I like the feeling of being sad and having that sting in your chest and feeling all alone as if no one cares about me even when I know it’s not true. I don’t really like it as I love it like a hobby but there are times when I find myself doing that and I’m confused whether I really am in a better place than I was before or not.
I don’t really know how to elaborate, but if anyone knows how they can help me please do.
Thank you though, for those who do.
Much love, Andrea