I thought I was done with my “suicidal phase”, but I woke up thinking about it again. Will this thought never go away? Is it stuck with me like a mental disorder? Will it get continue to get worse until I try to kill myself again? The Will To Live, and The Need To Die are having an intense battle inside my head. I’m not sure which one is stronger. The Need To Die was down for the count yesterday….but he got right back up, ready to swing.
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I can relate to what you are saying. It’s like the idea of suicide is an automatic response, an involuntary feeling. For me every time something would go wrong I would have thoughts of suicide. One thing I have learned is that is a limbo. If you can’t choose death, and can’t choose life you are not living a full life, but you are also not dead. The thing is to fully live life you have to discard the death option and fully choose life. I know how scary that is. Something that helped me is reaffirm that what you want is a good life, not death. Try just for 30 days to forget that suicide is even an option. The thing is if you always feel like suicide is close it’s impossible to commit to life, it’s impossible to improve your life because what difference does it make if you are about to die anyways? I wish you luck in choosing life, it’s the only way I have found to improve your life, and get rid of the involuntary suicidal thinking.
Very nice.
duck his punches, swing back, or accept an ass whooping.
I doubt it will just go away on it’s own, without a fight even less. If you make a choice to not be alone in that fight, it can become much easier to beat his arse..
maybe it’s time you had a talk with dad and sis? or maybe tried some free counseling, group/support meeting? if opening up to family is too much atm with mom and all,
and still then counseling/meetings can have an impact on you, strangers pitching in, in each others fight, tap, you’re up, who’s next, slam, the bastard is knocked out, at least for a round or two
out of everything I’ve tried over the years, groups were the thing that had most of an impact, for my sis, it helped her completely with most of her struggles, and she is doing a lot better today, damn near thriving. I’m very proud of her, sticking with it.
That’s a really good point. People get so caught up thinking they have to fight it alone.
yea, one of the points people seem to return to around here is that therapists, psychologists, psychiatrist are all “book smart”, true, and maybe they have their merits
but people that understand, relate, have first hand knowledge and experiences can, at times, help a lot more sometimes, at least often feels more comfortable.
which is why a group of those miserable bastards can be wonderful, and so very helpful,
and of course if it happens to be one of those kinds of group where you then get 1 of those book smarty learned people to blend and keep it all together, well then you sorta get the “best of both worlds” kind of deals
but I found, if i had to choose only 1 thing, it would have been group therapy/support meeting, over meds and 1n1 therapy.
if a person can find a way to combine all things, well that might just be so much of “best of all 3-4-10 worlds” it blows one mind.
I just realized I have completely quit my support group. I quit the group planning on trying a different type of group and then I never went to the other group.
any reasons not to go back and try again?
and good reasons that is 😉
something always “comes up”, doesn’t it? doesn’t seem to matter how small the reason, always something there to get in the way of things, tiny insignificant, pointless. no good reasons at all. but oh boy are they abundant…
seems like a lot of tiny no good reasons, always beats just one big good reason… :/