Oh hey, it’s been a really long time. Nico here.
Just to tell you guys before I start, this post isn’t going to be as happy as my others. I’ll try to cheer up though soon.
My parents make me feel so useless and stupid.. This is the best that I’ve done in school and yet.. I was so proud of myself.. Haha.. It’s really useless isn’t it?.. No matter what I do.. They never appreciate it.. Guilt talking to make it seem like I’m the bad guy.. I’m done with them.. I know they care but I just.. I’m shattering under the pressure.. like a mirror.. Oh, that’s kinda ironic.
They treat me like I’m supposed to be exactly like them, I came from them so I should be better than this. They link their own image and self-worth to my appearance, performance, and grades.. Like I’m an extension of them.
The only good thing I have is my Charming.. we just got back together after a series of fights but.. I hope we go back to when it was perfect.. And I guess my friends care for me.. they’re better than my family haha.. they instantly know when something is wrong. Unlike my parents who don’t even realize anything. Even if they did they wouldn’t be concerned. They’d say something like, “Don’t say that no daughter of mine is gonna say that about themselves.” or, “Oh so am I stupid then too? Because if you think that it bounces back to me. You want people to think we’re stupid?” I’ve tried to tell them so many hints.. tried to see if they care.. that’s all they reply with. I’m just so done. I’m not gonna kill myself, but.. If i could just die without my friends or my Charming caring or knowing.. or maybe even by an illness so they’d be prepared.. I’d do it.
Funny story, a car almost ran over me a few weeks ago. I hesitated and stopped wanting to know if I was gonna die. If it was my time. But, guess not. That’s when my Charming decided to apologize when she found out.. Saying she’ll never take me for granted again.. I wonder if I shouldn’t of trusted those words.. I did though.. Hope it was a good choice..
Till I type again,
Nico.