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Grieving

by LostSoul

My Nan practically raised me when I was younger and today marks the four year anniversary of her death; she died when I was 13 or cancer. Most of the time I get by quite fine, when I don’t think about it, I try and push it away, but right now, it’s so hard.
I can’t stop crying and I know grieving is normal, but I just, is it still okay to cry? When will it stop being okay? Does it stop being okay when people around you forget who she was? Why does my mind still sometimes forget she’s dead, and why do I still oh so badly wish to join her?

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SeeSmith 12/31/2016 - 1:39 am

It’s fine to grieve the way you want for as long as you want. Everyone is different.

In the same vein, it’s OK if other people move on and forget her. That is their path to walk and not yours.

You probably forget she is dead from time to time because she is with you. In raising you she wove her threads into the tapestry that is your life. Now it’s your turn to weave your threads into something new.

theWhispersOfMySins 12/31/2016 - 1:59 am

Sorry for your loss. And everything SeeSmith said is very true. It’s always ok to cry over her no matter how much time passes.

Mf 12/31/2016 - 2:27 am

It’ll never stop being ok to cry for someone that raised you and that you truly miss, as long as you’re careful as to not let it consume you. Four years is not that much time to deal with the loss of someone that was so close to you. In everything else i agree with SeeSmith so instead of repeating everything he said i’ll just say that i’m sorry for your loss, and that time does help to heal some wounds, so it’s likely that one day that sadness will be replaced for something better, as in remembering her fondly.

jadedjewel 12/31/2016 - 1:13 pm

I am coming up on the 10 year anniversary of losing my dad. You never get over losing someone so close to you. You have good days and bad days with it. I still 10 years later cry sometimes about my dad being gone…but sometimes I do smile st the memories and thoughts of him too.

Grieving is a very personal part of life…no real rule book or instruction manual to go by. I would say let the emotions flow as they come…let them out and don’t try to stifle them. It’s completely ok to not be over her death. Just try not to dwell on it. It helps to celebrate their life and not focus on their death…it does make the grieving a bit easier.
Your Nan would probably prefer that you don’t dwell on her being gone…but in honesty she’s not really gone…she lives on in you and you will carry her and your memories of her along with the things you do in life. Remember she’s an angel that is always on your side…ALWAYS.

Even if others “forget” her…they don’t. It just may be difficult for them to speak of her. For a lot of people it’s uncomfortable because they do miss that person and talking about them makes them too emotional and some only like to deal with those feelings in private. They have their grieving process and you have yours which may be completely different but not right or wrong.

Make your Nan proud…that’s the best tribute you can give to her.

LostSoul 1/1/2017 - 7:42 am

Thank you to everyone who replied, it means a lot. I’ll take everything you’ve said into consideration next time it gets me down to the stage I was at the other day.

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