Incomplete

I never thought I would be back here. Not that I don’t like being here, it’s just that apparently I didn’t need to be here for 3 months. Or maybe I just forgot I could be here; I feel like home here. Aaaanyways…

After what I thought would be the worst semester in high school, my only 2 true friends are back (at least the only friends that don’t get sick of me or look at me as an option to pick from the bunch). And yes, I was right, that last semester was the worst. Ever. Although it wasn’t as bad a I had imagined at the beginning. I forced myself into meeting new people, and many would think that was a huge step and a positive one for me. Well… no.

Without my true friends, I started looking acceptance in others for the past 4 months and developed an even bigger emotional dependence in other people I shouldn’t have.

Long story short, I met a lot more people, and I feel more rejected and lonelier than ever. Incomplete. Especially when I see around and everyone is finding their significant other. Everyone but me. 18 years have passed and I still haven’t changed in that aspect.

And worst of it all, I still feel like an option to everyone. It’s like I may have friends, but they have friends that are funnier and more important than me. It may sound selfish, but I wish I could find someone who has me as their only priority. Someone who would like me as I am. Someone who could understand me.

Oh well. If you read up to this point, thank you, and I hope your 2017 is not a cruel nightmare as my 2016 was.