December 10th, 2016by darkestsoul
my mom was sixteen when she got married to my dad who was fourty-six at the time. it wasn’t the “sugar daddy” kind of relationship this generation is rather fond of – it was an arranged marriage. my mom had my brother when she was seventeen, and she had me when she was twenty. they obviously had an unhappy marriage, my mother had no education and my dad was a selfish aggressive alchoholic. at the age of four, he scribbled over our passports and abandoned us in a foreign country for six months, with no home, with no food. then when he finally grew a conscious, he brought us to the land of freedom and opportunity (America). abandoning us once again with his brother, who was cruel and verbally abusive to us all – treating us with the utomost animosity, and then my mom gave birth to my younger sister. finally, we moved to another country with promises from my father of a new start as a family. things only got worse, he had no job and all he did was drink. he would wake my brother and I up and force us to watch him beat our mother all night, every night. he took all of us out of school, just because he couldn’t afford it. It was extra baggage. when he was finally done with the little humanity he had in him; he left us for good. I started working shitty jobs by the age of fifteen to support the family, jobs where men would treat me like a piece of meat and i would have to take it. meanwhile, my mother went off the ramp, bringing strange men to the house, dating strange men, revolving her entire life around herself, not giving a fuck about what we wanted, what we needed. I’m seventeen now, and there are only two reasons I haven’t ended my life. 1 – it’s against my religion and 2 – i can’t leave my sister in this environment. they took her childhood away from her, they took her education away from her, she’s eleven and all she does is stay in her room for months.
I doubt anyone will be able to read till the end of this tiny biography, but my depression has been at it’s worse. I have no job, no education, no one to help me. I just needed someone out there to know. I just need someone to understand why I did what I did when I’m gone.