I failed. I did not make it through the holidays. Tomorrow night is definitely it. I dont know why im posting this. I guess maybe i just want to tell people who cant physically stop me. Or maybe i do want a bit of attention before i go. Either way. Right now ive got nothing to lose. Lets make this quick and clean.
Wishing the rest of you guys the best. Good luck.
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Hey I’m curious. How do you plan to do it?
I’ve got my plans, but there’s a few different methods I’m considering. So I get rather interested in hearing how others want to do it.
Keep it simple. Old fashion. Jump. Just need to make damn sure it kills me and i don’t wind up a vegetable.
definitely more than 3 stories, pref more than 6, and NOT feet first, back to the ground, looking up at the beautiful sky while falling one big last smile, making it all sneak up by surprise, lights out, closing curtain
– end scene
Snorlax, you make everything sound so beautiful
so, how’re your last 24 hours gonna play out for you sammi?
any plans, ideas, desires, last ditch bucket list points to cross off?
anything before that final act on the stage calls?
I don’t know. I think I’ll just wake up in the morning and do whatever sounds good in the moment
key being doing something good
ones last day shouldn’t be as mundane or just the same as every other crap day, after all it’s a special day, should be fluffed up a bit, an extra dash of whipped cream and sprinkle of cocoa,
something that plays the day out to end on a high note
I’ve always thought it’s important one goes out with a big smile in ones last moment, even if it’s just from memories.
we are dragged in to the world screaming and crying, it’s only right our last day is made a little extra special so we leave smiling, and laughing if possible
even a mad hysterical laugh will do
“MUAHAHAHA!”
– look up children, no hands, no rope, no chute, you better watch out, Santa is coming down!
Im kind of scared. Not of dying. I’m scared of the potential for suffering. But that method is perfect for me for so many reasons
yea fear of suffering or failure leading to more pain sucks
the only problem is it can trip one up, so nervous about something not going right one panics and takes something perfect and make it go all wrong, doing everything right, but in a split second unconsciously because of a tiny fear, makes a tiny mistake, which then fulfills ones fear.
approaches and sets off beautifully, does a nice little flip and screw somersault, but twitches on the tuck and dive, and doesn’t stick the landing
Yes me too .( curious that is ). You were posting comments as usual Sammi6xoxo and the all of a sudden it’s tomorrow … Is the depression taking over you now or are you just thinking – fuck it why wait .. I don’t give myself a time as such .. Though I have said I’ll wait till after Xmas .. WHY ?? I don’t know .
Then yesterday I was reading on ways to crush the arteries in my neck I started playing with belts and different cords .. I was thinking if I get that feeling now , THIS IS IT .. Which is weird because I think I already have a way out ..CO is my way of thinking .. I just want to buy a CO meter so I can have a test run with my equipment to make sure I don’t end up a living vegetable .. Just look into it first Sammi6xoxo .. I jumped in head first the first time.. Sitting in a car with the exhaust running into the car .. 2 fuckin hours – Nothing but life .. bloody new cars … Now that adds to the pressure of things .. Just don’t do anything silly like I did .. Try and relax and think about things first if you can ..
I’ve been thinking about it for a long time. I’ve done my research. I’ve planned it out down to the last breath. It just hit me. No amount of planning or careful timing is going to make this any easier on my family. I’m only prolonging the inevitable
Yeah I know Prolonging the final act .. WHY DO WE DO IT .. Your right nothing will change what’s coming .. The little things I’m waiting for to pass really mean nothing ..Nothing to me . I’m just hanging around to please others .. But like yourself sometime I think — Bugger it and start working on my plans .. Yesterday as well as playing boy scouts with ropes and belts I made sure my generator was starting and working .. The feeling to suicide comes in waves for me .and maybe you too ?.. So maybe you will prolong things tomorrow for a bit ??
A small part of me is still hoping for a miracle in the next 24 hours
I think it will .. I think when it’s time – IT’S TIME – There and then – I know people have a set day and all but it’s hard to know what you will be thinking when it come to that time .. Even saying tomorrow is the day would put a lot of pressure on yourself – not only thinking it for a day but then making it work for you at the time you stated .. Sorry Snorlax if you read this as I know you are on a count down .. Just sounds to me like you put a heavy load on yourselves .
all this talk of leaping off high places reminded me of something and made me dig out something old from a while back that had managed to survive the purge,
commenting it here, since you reminded me of it, and since, even tho I made it as a post, sometimes my posts gets deleted, and felt like making sure I shared it
Naked as I was born
Cold, alone and wet,
Finally calm
At last, now, -am I happy?
Reds, yellows and blues
These make up my world
All of the colours, but greens
For that is mixed, and only in my dreams
The wind caress my body
Plays with my hair
Carries me away
To a far off scene
The wind and my dreams
Never to be seen
Always to be felt
As they lift me up, -up up and away
How high can they carry me
How far will it let me see
How long will they make me free
What could it help me be
Earth and grass at my feet
Grounding, living, -tickling and pricking
Wind at my fingertips
Water in my eyes
Once more, letting go
Together as one, lift off….
I’m a leaf on the wind
– watch how I soar
Check your email, M. It can’t fucking end like this.
I hope you find peace, Sammi6xoxo. I look forward to meeting Sammi7xoxo and telling him all about you.
Before you defenestrate, please consider hiding a cryptic note in your sock. The police love a good mystery.
I hope you have a vibrant and tranquil day today.
Ah Salt good to see ya still with us. Plently of time to take care of buisness in the future..