I’ve grown tired of wasting my life. Get up at 11am, eat, watch tv, waste time online, walk around the house, take a nap, play some guitar, eat again, take another nap, listen to music, smoke some weed, check email again, contemplate doing something, decide not to do it, watch some boring shit on tv, Fuck it’s only 3PM??!!? Repeat the whole thing again. Eat dinner, listen to more music, post rant on sp, watch amp reviews on youtube, check email again for no reason, think about going for a walk, but decide not to, stretch, go to sleep. Repeat the next day. As you can see my life is boring as shit. I don’t know exactly what I feel like my life should be, and what I should be doing, but this absolute isn’t it. I have decided to completely disconnect myself from the internet for 60 days starting in a few days, and also getting rid of all of my weed. I am not happy with the fact that I am drifting day to day with no goals, no purpose, and no meaningful activities. I am planning on spending this time away from the internet focusing on building healthy habits and improving my life, because right now my life seems to be an endless time wasting fest.
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8 comments
i know how you feel, the distractons i once used to keep my depression at bay ended up all i felt i can do. im still on the road to discovering how to get past that, as you are, but i just wanted to share that i can relate and your not alone
Thanks, it just becomes such a trap.
Is it possible to find work where you are? That helps give structure to the days, and having money helps with buying crap. Crap is always useful.
That’s a good question. I have tried starting a handyman business over the past year. It was growing in success, but then depression came in and killed my motivation and drive, so it fell apart.
I know exactly how you feel, and depression makes it almost unbearable. It destroys and kills your drive and motivation. Makes you feel worthless, hopeless, useless, and more importantly, lifeless. I feel I am wasting my life until hopefully one day I die. Death is something I actually look forward to.
That’s how I used to feel, i’m actually really feeling like making changes in my life now to try to get my life back.
You’ve got a great game plan, I hope you pop back in after 60 days and tell us how you’re doing. Motivation is a rarity these days. Funny that you mentioned watching amp reviews on youtube because that’s one of the few things that feels good to me (only I watch mic & compressor reviews & obscure 80s synths). If you have some change lying around, I highly recommend buying some cool piece of gear on eBay or something. That can be a great source of motivation.
I’ll definitely pop back in after 60 days. I like the idea of buying a cool piece of music gear. I’m just realizing how much work this is going to be though. I’m in med withdrawal today, and I decided to go for a run to try to get my cardio back in shape. I felt like I was going to have a heart attack, because it being cold out, on top of the withdrawal just made it horrible. I feel like that’s a good analogy. Going for a run while in med withdrawal is similar to trying to get your life back while caught in depression. Anyways looking forward to better days.