So alone

Hey there, I’m sorry you feel so alone, however I’m glad you found this website so that people can reach out to you, like me 🙂
It looks like you are focusing negative qualities in yourself, but sometimes that happens when we aren’t in a good headspace. I can’t say I know you well but from what I’ve read, you really care about your family and friends, which is an amazing quality! We need more people like you in the world.
It also must really hurt if you feel like you’ve disappointed these people. I think a key way to solving this problem is communication, and this is definitely easier said than done but it’s a good starting point.

It seems that your boyfriend hadn’t communicated with you very well, because you shouldn’t be left feeling confused after a relationship ends. Reach out to him to see if he can explain his side, or see if he needs some space before you two can talk about it. He might not be bothered with explaining why it ended, in which case he doesn’t deserve any of your time.

Reaching out to your friend who is angry with you might also help. Through talking you could learn that you might have done something that they didn’t like, or they might not have known that you were feeling hurt by how they reacted. It could be a complete misunderstanding. If they aren’t willing to offer an explanation then they aren’t being a good friend, and are also probably not worth your time.

It sounds like you really care about this close friend, especially since you want to comfort them in a time of need. He may have gotten in trouble with his parents because of something you did, and I can safely say that this happens to the best of us. The important thing is that you understand what you’ve done and still want to be there for him, because I think that’s the mark of a really great friend. Make sure you talk to him about this and tell him how you’re feeling, I’m sure if he really is your friend he can forgive you.

I can more than relate to fucking up in school. If you want to talk about sorting school issues out then we can sort out through pm, but whatever it is, you’ll be able to get through it.

You’ve identified that you’ve been treating your parents in a negative way, and that level of self awareness is also a wonderful quality. When you say that they put too much pressure on you, I think this is a really important point that needs to be brought up with them. You should try tell them that their expectations are too high for what you feel you can achieve, and that you’ve having some difficulty with keeping up with what they expect you to do. Hopefully your parents will understand and can form a stronger relationship with you, because I’m sure that your parents really do just want the best for you.

Sorry if this reply is a lot longer than you would have liked, but TL:DR, you sound like a great person even if you can’t see it too well right now, and if you try communicating with those people in your life then hopefully some situations will sort themselves out. It can be so exhausting having to deal with all that, so I’m really proud of you for reaching out to people. I hope you continue to use that amazing strength you have and keep being the caring, understanding person you are!