I completely forgot how serious withdrawal from meds can be. I quit my remeron, cymbalta and abilify cold turkey. I know it sounds stupid, but imagine you are stuck on these meds day after day. Feeling mentally drained, numbed, and feeling increasingly stupid from the brain fog, thanks cymbalta. Anyways after numerous attempts of weaning off in the past that completely failed, I decided that the only way off of them is to completely stop taking them. In a sense I feel like a fog over my mind has been lifted, all the sedation is gone now. I can see straight and I don’t feel the side effects. The flip side is my mood is going from hopeful for the future to actively suicidal, back to hopeful multiple times throughout the day. My body aches like hell. I know if I can ride it out, I will make it. I told myself to prepare for the insanity and suffering that will occur. I knew my mind would start to think that everything is hopeless, and that suicide is the only answer. But even knowing that feeling that last night started to get to me. I’m not really anti meds, but the cymbalta was causing a neverending brain fog, and was making my muscles ache 24/7, remeron was sedating me throughout the day, and abilify was increasing the sedation, and was keeping me numb and stupid. So they had to go. With meds I really want to start over. The combination I was taking had way too many problems, and I had become completely physically and emotionally dependent on them and felt trapped on them.
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I mean what else do you do when you realize the things trying to fix the problems are as bad as the original problem? Makes me think of what my dr jokingly said when I said that I don’t like the side effects of a particular med “Wait, so you want to be able to pee, AND be happy?” lol
Been an year off meds. All cold turkey. Aches.. pains.. want to get back. I loved the feeling they brought of numbness. Brain fog was okay than this active suicidality.
I get that, but my brain fog and side effects on the combo I was on was so bad that I felt like I had severe brain damage. I mean I literally couldn’t see straight anymore, think, or even function.
If I do get back on meds I think i’m just going to get on 50mg anafranil, possible + 15mg remeron. I’ve gotten to the point with some meds, where I can’t decide if it’s worse to be miserable and suicidal, or so sedated and drugged that you aren’t even awake or present in your own life.
I’ve gotten to the point with some meds, where I can’t decide if it’s worse to be miserable and suicidal, or so sedated and drugged that you aren’t even awake or present in your own life.
Iam still deciding since an year.
I haven’t any real answers to this.
Yeah. I was on meds after my last suicide attempt. Awful brain fog/surreal feeling. I would rather feel anguish than be a numb, mindless zombie. (Irony: I had had some minor suicidal ideation until I went on anti-depressants. Then I was told they brought out a “latent bi-polarity”. Ummm. NO! No one in my family is bi-polar: the meds caused it. Eventually, I became flat out suicidal even after having gone off the drugs.) After 3 days in a coma and four days in the psych ward, I was released, doped up in an unreality. I tried to play by the rules for a week or so, until I realized that this simply wasn’t going to work: I wasn’t living; the meds just made me everyone else feel better, as if it was real “help”. It wasn’t. I crushed those fucking pills and split the powder up into increasingly smaller doses and weaned myself off of it and never looked back.
You must be going through hell, going cold turkey. For whatever it’s worth: I’m praying for you.
Thanks, yeah i’m pretty much in hell right now. I quit 3 at once that i’ve been on for 3+ years so it’s been pretty bad.
I feel the same way but I’ve been doing heroin. It’s my fourth day off of it after an overdose where I was hospitalized and now they give me Zoloft. I don’t know if I should just take the Zoloft and see if it actually helps me or not. I also don’t know if I should just do heroin instead. But then again I want off that shit. But if I’m not on either I’m actively suicidal, non stop self harm and shit. Fixated on ropes and razors. Constant battle between trying to see if I’ll make it out alive or not. Suicide is always an option.