2 steps forward, 1 step backward

to be with someone, who is in pain, can be so overwhelming, if you feel and think like there is nothing you can do, and all you want is to make her smile again…
maybe he doesn’t care, maybe he does, i can’t say i’m not him
but i know when you care for someone and you can’t help them, unable, unknowing, or not being let in, it drains you. watching a flower wither and all you want is for it to bloom again, but you don’t know how..

fate doesn’t care about your happiness much less about it making you so or not, it leaves that entirely in your hands, and if all you feel like is reaffirm to yourself how useless you are, it’s hard to find oneself useful.
start with the little things you can do,
unless you can’t get out of bed in the morning without setting the neighbouring village on fire, you are doing something right, and if you can make it to the kitchen without causing a sinkhole in the street, it’s not a bad start to the day,
the little things, when many, will be more, will become enough, and a beginning to something, even if it’s only baby steps or a single one of them

we rarely know the true full extent of our friends problems, nor their scope of coping, if we smile to keep a brace face, it’s likely some of our friends do the same.
But you have to take care of and worry about yourself first, if you envy their coping, be brave to ask, or strong enough to put their problems aside for a moment, to cope with your own.

you are not a total fuck up, you might think/feel you can’t do anything right, then do nothing, and you might learn you can’t do nothing right, and well that’s doing something right and something after all

2 steps forward and 1 step back is still progress even if only a single step, but one step at a time is all we can do sometimes, and that’s okay
appreciate the steps you do make forward, don’t dwell too much on the rest, and take them as they come