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Moving forward

by lifehappens

The minutes are torturess. It’s as if someone is screaming inside of me. My life has become unbearable.

But suddenly now I’m at peace, with the concept of death. I’ve reached the point where I’m okay with how I feel. I accept it. I accept that my life may end with an impulsive slit to the throat. I accept that I may go on for a lifetime feeling this pain and enternal hurt.

I accept these things, but it doesn’t mean I’m no longer aching inside. Because I am. I still have this dull heavy pain in my chest but I’m no longer fighting it. It’s there. I have tried and now I must accept and learn to carry on with the days although it’s hard, very hard. It’s the only way forward.

 

 

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6 comments

jadedjewel 1/27/2017 - 6:04 pm

“The thought of suicide is a great consolation: by means of it one gets through many a dark night.” – Friedrich Nietzsche

It’s very true…. sometimes just the thought of suicide can help you cope…. knowing you always have it as an option can help you get through a tough time.

lifehappens 1/27/2017 - 9:32 pm

Great quote! And it’s become almost like a friend there for me if I need be.

jadedjewel 1/28/2017 - 12:22 am

You can find those type friends here too. 🙂 Some people do survive and weather the storm here thanks to the understanding and acceptance of others on here helping them and supporting them…. some don’t and we suffer the loss of good people. It’s hard when you get attached to people and then one day they are gone and you don’t know if they succeeded in suicide or just left the site… there isn’t always closure…. but people join this forum in secret so it goes without saying I guess.

lifehappens 1/28/2017 - 1:52 am

It makes me feel a little better reading the stories people write here because it makes me not feel alone and there’s people who truly understand. It sounds difficult as you say because great relationships are made on here – where people help each other get through and one day they are gone. But I guess what matters is that they were here and people listened.

jadedjewel 1/28/2017 - 2:10 am

Well that’s just it, you don’t always get people trying to stop you from committing suicide. You get acceptance and validation for why you want to, and that is sometimes what matters to someone… they need someone to understand how they feel and not have to face the stigma and reaction of someone who can’t understand and just calls them crazy for thinking such a thing… yes that can be found here as well.

lifehappens 1/28/2017 - 2:34 am

Definitely – I agree. For someone to just acknowledge what you want goes a very long way. Instead of people just jumping to the whole ending your life is wrong thing. Making someone feel like there only resort is wrong is never the right thing to do but here people understand that. I’m new to this but I really think it’s going to help.

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