I don’t know why,
but I find it really embarrassing to admit out loud how lonely I feel, so I can only manage to post it anonymously on this site.
Putting all my mental health issues aside, for awhile now I’ve pretended that I don’t need to depend on anyone in my life and I can only rely on myself.
But I’ve only done that in order to protect myself because finding someone who understands me and what I’ve been though and what I am going through, seems to be almost impossible,
and it hurts when in the end they always leave.
Anyone who seems to get to know who I really am disappears.
It hasn’t always been like this, but ever since I got sick I guess I can’t blame anyone for not wanting to get involved.
2 comments
Yeah i get that too. I kinda stopped hoping i’ll find someone and when the opportunity arises (which kinda never happens) i just walk away for the same reason you mention: once they get to know me and my issues, that’s it, so i just don’t bother anymore. I guess it’s more common than you’d think, because aside from this site i’ve met a few people that share that same mindset (in real life), and their arguments are the same ones that you mention. Not that any of that helps in the least, but i just wanted to say that i relate, hopefully things will improve at some point for you.
People walk out on me too because of PTSD depression and self harm. though I cAnt blame them. I have had to have 50 stitcg es for one cut. I sliced the muscle too. Makes people run. I think maybe we just have to learn to be alone. I have been mentally messed up since childhood. People’s aversion to other people’s mental health disorders doesn’t get better.