God never answers my fucking prayers! I have sobbed and begged and pleaded for relief and help and guidance, but he remains silent. Everybody’s dreams are realized except for mine-I am always left behind and my dreams are crushed in some way or another. Nobody puts my interests first ever. I am so different from my family that I feel left out a lot. I wish I had a friend like in the books I read-one with similar interests, a non-tomboy (my family has tomboys–except for me), a person with similar interests, etc, etc. Of course, that will never happen and even if it did, it wouldn’t change anything. Oh well. I hate the goddamn world! No energy left to pray, to do anything but curl up in a ball on the floor alone ALONE ALONE ALONE!!! For some reason, people disgust me now. I can hardly be around anyone. I tend to lock myself in my room, push people away, etc. I’m so suicidal. I want to mince my skin until I have to go the hospital from blood loss. I want to scream. I want to break things. I want to not be me. I don’t even know who I am. I WANT TO DIE!!!
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This describe exactly how I feel on a regular. My friends and family makes me feel worst. I would say it’ll get better, but I myself don’t believe it. I do believe there’s a God, however it feels like he’s distanct from me. So much goes through my mind, I literally cry myself to sleep, every night.
ain’t no god
I had a friend once, he had some cancer. So he prayed, and prayed, and God finally healed him! I mean, the intensive chemotherapy and brain surgeries might have helped, but really it was all the people praying that did it. There must surely be a God or else how could you explain what happened to my friend? You can’t.
The intensive chemotherapy and brain surgeries “might” have helped? Are you fucking serious? The man was saved by modern medicine. It happens all the time. What do you think, that all doctors are just dunces? These people don’t joke around when it comes to cancer. There are plenty of cancer survivors out there everywhere. And statistically speaking, some of them are atheists 😉
And upon retrospection, you seem like a troll, so I’m going to withdraw from this one before it even starts.
I’m not a troll, but I am so sarcastic that it sometimes appears sincere.
Sarcasm doesn’t translate well over the internet my friend. It’s not exactly like you can always convey tone in text. Sorry for being slow. I thought you were just over enthusiastic, but now I see that that exclamation mark after “god finally healed him” was in sarcasm. To be honest, I didn’t even read your entire comment after “all the brain surgeries etc; might have helped” otherwise I might have picked up on your sarcasm… 🙂
No worries, I’d tone it down a bit but sometimes I don’t even know I’m doing it until after I re-read a comment I wrote. Ha. But seriously – have you heard these stories Christians post on facebook or other social media platforms? “This man survived a horrifying car crash – his car caught on fire and everything was destroyed… except a bible! And some other papers and stuff that got dislocated after the doors were torn open by the Jaws of Life, but a bible survived! It’s a miracle!” Blargh. It might be sarcasm, but you can’t make this stuff up.
Or how about when some old Mexican lady finds the “face of Jesus” on a potato chip or a piece of toast… heh.
That’s nothin’. There was a story recently of some lady in the midwest, I think Kentucky, who saw a crucifix in a sonogram during a checkup at her GP, and made a big stink about it on FB. Just google sonogram crucifix, lol.
You say you wish you had a friend, then say it will never happen (which you have no way of knowing) and then you say you hate the world and push them away. I guess you see the contradiction there, but tbh i get what you’re saying, i used to be the same way (not that i’m much different now). All i can say is that there is people like you, but if you push people away you’re killing the chance of knowing them. The other choice is getting comfortable by being on your own, but not everyone is wired like that.
As for god… yeah, i respect people’s belief in god, but i’ve always wondered why people see god as a genie in a lamp sort of thing. IMHO if there is a god he/she/it never interferes, and that’s not bound to change any time soon.
doesnt really feel like there is a god
even if there is, i dont think i would ever pray to a god that lets this state of world happen