Can you try a walk or run instead? I’ve been doing that when I feel like tearing my veins out, with music full blast. it works after awhile. if it’s still raining could calm you down a little, too.
Bad appointment?
I broke a glass.. I just needed a release needed to feel something other than internal pain I can go a bit crazy some times when everything goes wrong which it always does I panic and punish myself. I was a bit glazed over and past running cold water or focusing on anything else but thank you for your kind words. The storm has settled.
Honestly..? I don’t know. I was glazed over it happens to me some times when I flip out. It wasn’t like I was just sat at home watching tv when a light bulb lit up and I thought to myself “I know what I’ll do..” I’m not proud but I cannot help it in constantly fighting the urge to punish/ harm myself and sometimes- I slip up. I lose control. I didn’t think I would have to explain myself on this site but I hope that answers your question.
I feel better afterwards if that’s what you mean. When I’m in that mental state I cant stop until I’ve hurt myself its like adrenaline.. Then a short release and a calm and then I comfort myself with gentle tears (not hysterical) and then I’m calm. Its a cycle of self loathing and self pity. I realise its pathetic. I dont need anyone to tell me that. Its how I am how I ‘cope’. I punish myself for being so inept at life.
Lol @ (not hysterical). Sorry, I just got pictures in my brain there. I self-sabotage too. I think it’s fairly common. Did you try self-compassion? Basically you have to talk to yourself as you would someone else.
Its interesting you mention that as I think its something I naturally do. I’ve not heard about it as a thing though you know how mindfulness is a thing.. For example when I’m in the calming, comforting myself stage I say things to myself like “it’s okay, there there, its not our fault we’ll be okay” etc as opposed to when I’m in my glazed/seeing red phase and I’m yelling at myself “you’re this and you’re that you worthless piece o shit” – ra ra ra.. I also noticed how I talk to myself in second person but also how in the angry, self harming phase I’m using phrases visa vi above ” you are this, you are that” yet when I soothe myself I refer to myself mainly as “we”..
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Can you try a walk or run instead? I’ve been doing that when I feel like tearing my veins out, with music full blast. it works after awhile. if it’s still raining could calm you down a little, too.
Bad appointment?
No good cant stop crying im hysterical I cant breathe but thanks
🙁
Try running some ice cold water over your hands, could shock you a little. and i know it’s hard, but try to breathe, in and out.
I broke a glass.. I just needed a release needed to feel something other than internal pain I can go a bit crazy some times when everything goes wrong which it always does I panic and punish myself. I was a bit glazed over and past running cold water or focusing on anything else but thank you for your kind words. The storm has settled.
@ muspelhem is something funny? 🙁
You said you punched yourself in the face. What are you fucking doing?
Lol for real?
Honestly..? I don’t know. I was glazed over it happens to me some times when I flip out. It wasn’t like I was just sat at home watching tv when a light bulb lit up and I thought to myself “I know what I’ll do..” I’m not proud but I cannot help it in constantly fighting the urge to punish/ harm myself and sometimes- I slip up. I lose control. I didn’t think I would have to explain myself on this site but I hope that answers your question.
Okay, so it’s an urge to punish yourself for something. Is it working?
I feel better afterwards if that’s what you mean. When I’m in that mental state I cant stop until I’ve hurt myself its like adrenaline.. Then a short release and a calm and then I comfort myself with gentle tears (not hysterical) and then I’m calm. Its a cycle of self loathing and self pity. I realise its pathetic. I dont need anyone to tell me that. Its how I am how I ‘cope’. I punish myself for being so inept at life.
Lol @ (not hysterical). Sorry, I just got pictures in my brain there. I self-sabotage too. I think it’s fairly common. Did you try self-compassion? Basically you have to talk to yourself as you would someone else.
Its interesting you mention that as I think its something I naturally do. I’ve not heard about it as a thing though you know how mindfulness is a thing.. For example when I’m in the calming, comforting myself stage I say things to myself like “it’s okay, there there, its not our fault we’ll be okay” etc as opposed to when I’m in my glazed/seeing red phase and I’m yelling at myself “you’re this and you’re that you worthless piece o shit” – ra ra ra.. I also noticed how I talk to myself in second person but also how in the angry, self harming phase I’m using phrases visa vi above ” you are this, you are that” yet when I soothe myself I refer to myself mainly as “we”..
Hey missinglink it’s me Sadlife just stopped in hoping that you are feeling better. Oh and I enjoyed the nice conversations yesterday
Hi @Sadlife958, thank you for stopping by and yes I slept like a babby last night I think I’m okay. I enjoyed speaking to you too.