Incapacitated..

Am I just a *****? If its easier for you to think that than to understand then I dont think you ever can..

I’m trying to tell you I cannot be what you expect and deserve. I’m trying to tell you that I don’t have the capacity for this right now. I barely have the capacity to get out of bed and before last night I hadn’t the capacity to even sleep. I’m sorry that it hurts. Hurt is why it is this way, I know it’s not your fault. Im trying to make you understand it to be honest it’s easier when I dont have to. Im screaming inside, I hate myself, my life and you don’t need this and I cannot be what you need me to me. Do yourself a favour. Why won’t you see, why wont you go? Im sick of the pointless arguments I just dont care for it I need as much peace in my life as I can get. Im battling demons past and new. If I could kill myself I would. I cannot even do that. I haven’t got the capacity.