It’s back. In a few weeks, if I had to guess, it’ll be back in full force. I could only get 4 hours of sleep at a time, which is a change up from easily managing 8-10. I can feel walls closing in and for whatever reason I can’t stop thinking about cutting, despite it being almost 8 months since the last time. I can feel the colors getting muted again and I’m losing patience with mundane things. I’m beginning to wonder if seasons play a role since the worst time of the year for my depression has consistently been the first several months of the year since I was sixteen. Maybe it’s because I’m more isolated now than I ever have been before, but it’s coming back strong and I can feel it.
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3 comments
You may have seasonal affective disorder. There’s some special therapy lamps that can assist you during certain periods of the year.
I thought that it might be, but I have it year round as well; it’s just especially bad around this time. I’m not sure if I can have both, but if I can then boy, that really sucks.
Sometimes depression can be ‘normal’ for a certain amount of time, then come out in full-force during certain periods. I think it’s fairly common in most cases of SAD and/or any depressive disorders. Since you said it’s especially bad this time of year, I suggest looking into therapy lamps. Some may even be able to assist you year-round.