They say you should always try and ask for a second chance but with a love she had that she gave me the one chance is just being able to have her her call her mine. I destroyed any other chance I had because with her being so perfect there was no way to get another chance and she was the one chance. (To me she is perfect and beautiful and was everything good about me and my life). I ruined it. I have no reason to go on. She made the crappy world we live in that much better and I ruined it. I never though a man could cry like I have but it is possible.
Oh God I would spend each and every day of my life making sure she was happy and that if I got another shot with her I would spend each moment of the rest of her life making sure she never regretted it. I just hope she can look into her heart and wonder if the decade plus years we had might somehow be worth another chance.
My life ended the day I let them go. It seems that Depression is living in a body that fights to survive with a mind that tries to die. I have never had pain this bad before. EVER. Why am I alive. Why can I not die?
I love you so much, please do not end it this way. You were so right and I was so so wrong. I would do any, ANYTHING TO WIN YOU AND THE KIDS BACK.
Sorry to everyone if it is too long.
I removed the picture and that was a good idea. Thank you again!
7 comments
That’s the thing with depression – You don’t see it coming till it’s too late .. Now you got to live with the stupid call’s you made right ??… Depression has made me make the most stupid decisions in my life too.. I’m trying to get over it . It’s hard when ya life is fucked though . I feel you ..
You’d do anything? Would you go to couple’s therapy? Would she?
If I could get her to go to therpy we might have had a chance but I think I id do mu damage.
I do hope you get your chance to fix things, but i also have to advice: remove the picture. Not that it’s dangerous or anything, but i wouldn’t want my loved ones picture on a suicide site (no offense to the fellow SP visitors, but i guess they get my point).
Thank you Mf. It was a good idea to remove the picture. I doubt I can fix things. It seems selfish to contemplate suicide when you have small ones but like someone said to me the other day, eventually they will forget and not even worry about it.
I don’t think they will ever forget even though they are young. They will always know their biologocal father died and if they know it’s by suicide that can and will affect them forever, and maybe very negatively. It can lead them to have problems themselves in the future, because it’s not something people reallly get over… it’s different than losing someone to natural causes or an accident. A lot of kids feel like they weren’t worth sticking around for or really loved if dad decided to kill himself and develop all kinds of self loathing type issues going forward with that way of thinking. It really can mess kids up.
Thanks Jadedjewel, I have not seen them for months. It is complicated the whole court thing. If the ex is fighting so I will not be able to see them again then the only difference would be the ceremony. but I do get what you are saying.