Should I go back?

Hello. This time around seems to be too much for me. I think it has something to do with the recent failure of me trying to be happy. Should I go back to therapy? I’ve done everything in my power to hide it and avoid going back. I didn’t think it was productive and I hated it. Now I don’t think I can handle it without having a serious major meltdown. Some Pros: I’ve tried literally everything to fix my depression. I’ve ignored it, I’ve tried fighting back and being happy, I’ve tried simply accepting it. Nothing will get rid of this buzzing feeling in my head. This seems like the last option I have. No matter how hard I try I can’t go through with suicide and I just can’t keep going on like this. Maybe it will get better. Cons: It will cost money. Whenever it costs money my parents start getting pissy. I can tell from last time. That really won’t help. There is also the main fact of my parents knowing about my depression. They get really weird on me and start looking at me differently. Sometimes they are concerned that I’m fragile and coddle me and other times they get fed up and start resenting me. That’s why I kept quiet. What do you think? Should I go back?
Thank you for listening.