First of all I want to say that I’m not a native english speaker, so my english isn’t the best. But I did my best! >.<
Here you can find why I hate my life, and why I want to die. Why not a text version? Well, I created a list version because I don’t want to waste your time on reading my boring life story.. I also don’t expect anyone t read this, so why would I waste my time on a text version?
Well, enough talking.
Here is why I hate my life
– My school life sucks (the only decent thing are my grades)
– I’m a worthless and retarded 17-year-old boy
– Even shit is worth more than I am
– I have achieved nothing in my life so far
– I find myself ugly (Maybe it’s because of my low self-esteem?)
– I won’t be surprised if I have some kind of depression (I haven’t done any tests yet, so that’s why I won’t say that I have depression)
– I am sure that I have some mild – high level of OCD (I shower a lot, I wash my hands a damn lot, I check if the door is closed like 100 times a day, same goes for the windows)(Same here.. haven’t done any tests yet, but its kinda obvious)
– I suck at everything. Example: drawing,.. (And yes I do practice a lot)
– Physical pain (I have a lot of health problems, like pain in my chest, weak legs, a lot of headaches,.. Medicines don’t work and the doctors don’t know why I have this..)
– I cut myself with scissors, stab myself with a bread knife and hit/kick the wall to distract myself from this shitty life (I only get bruises from stabbing myself)
– I suck at being social (yes, I have tried talking to people on multiple occasions, but they either try to talk to me as little as possible or act like i’m not there )
– My crush will never like me (She still likes my friend.. like seriously, he isn’t interested in her, but she still can’t forget about him. Oh and I forgot to say that she’s liked him for a couple of years) (And sadly enough she is the only person who has actually treated me as a normal person, even though she barely knew me)
– My dad doesn’t really care about me (that’s the impression I get, he never said anything like that himself)
– My mom told me that I make her depressed
– I have some “friends”, but I think that some of them don’t really like me anymore.
– My stepmother hates me for no reason (I’m not talking about disliking me, but seriously hating me)
– Many people who I know either try to do suicide or do suicide
– I play too much video games (but it’s one of the few things I’m decent at)
– Every time I go outside on my own when it’s dark, I get scared.. (Sometimes I even tremble/sweat a bit)(This all started after a couple of things that happened in my childhood)
– Sometimes when I see a robe, scissors,.. I think to myself how great it would be if I could kill myself with that object. (Btw, I consider doing suicide quite often, but I just can’t seem to do it)
– I can barely get out of bed nowadays
You came this far?
Well, thank you for your time! Seriously. I didn’t expect anyone to read this.