you’re a loser because you haven’t accomplished much in life? Maybe loser isn’t the right word, but you see everyone else being successful and making something of their lives.
Some people have either obtained a good career, that great husband/wife/children they’ve always wanted, happiness and contentment, or obtained an ego that doesn’t give a shit what other people think. Heck, even that stupid “cash me outside” girl has gained fame and notoriety. It just seems like everyone, including 2-bit YouTubers, have done something with their lives, and I haven’t. I feel so stuck in my depression and loneliness and fuckupedness. I feel like I’m stuck in a wet sandpit while everyone else is on the racetrack. Or at least frolicking happily around in a park.
Success and accomplishment aren’t everything. But if I’m going to be depressed, I’d at least want to accomplish something. But the irony of depression is that if you’re depressed, you’re typically too depressed to do anything. -_-‘
20 comments
You seem to have a lot of interesting and insightful thoughts.
How about writing a book ? Can that be an accomplishment ?
I have always wanted to write a book, but I have an autoimmune disorder (among other things) that leaves me in a state of constant fatigue. It’s been a struggle to just get my laundry done, let alone write a book, a blog, or anything else I want to do with my life 🙁
I understand.
What I mean is … whatever you write here, write in a journal also. Then, over time, you may be able to integrate all those disparate thoughts into a cohesive chapter that can go into your book.
In other words, you don’t have to set out with the intention of writing a book. That will NEVER work. Sooner or later, you will run into writer’s block and frustration.
Just keep noting down thoughts, and perhaps one day, you’ll see how the disparate pieces join together to form something cohesive.
I’ve thought about that. But just the thought of trying to piece everything together fatigues me :/ It’s incredible how much effort it takes to do things when you’re chronically fatigued.
I do get what you’re saying. I ought to start somewhere. I’ve always been the “hare” rather than the “tortoise,” so it’s hard trying to be a turtle and slooowly plod along…
The problem is that I *KNOW* that I am capable of accomplishing something so much more. I did a lot when I was healthy. It’s when you know you have the potential but yet you do not attempt or achieve it. When it’s constantly being sick, poor, stressed out, and depressed that’s keeping you from doing anything major. That is the real tragedy, that I know that I was meant for more. That I know that I am capable of more.
I guess half of it is sickness and my circumstances, the other half is my depression. Then it’s the depression part that I beat myself up over because I feel like that part is my fault.
I’m cold and tired, so I’m sure half of what I wrote above could’ve been written so much better. Eh well, time to get my laundry that I hardly ever do…
This shit is so damn accurate. I constantly feel like a worthless piece of garbage because I haven’t accomplished near anything in my 21 years of existence. Meanwhile these 14 year old youtubers/actors/actresses are already millionaires, and other people my age have already gotten their own home, a wife, a job, a good social life. This is the main reason I’m planning my suicide out of this treacherous shitty world. I’m tired. I’m done. I’m out.
lol, you’re only 21, so you have an excuse. when you’re older…it gets harder and harder to deal with as yet another year passes and you still have done nothing significant with your life.
Yeah but I’ll be older soon. And plus a lot of 21 year olds already have it made. I’m behind according to society as well.
WhySkyEnd, your reply made me of a song / music video …”Good Help (Is So Hard to Find)” : htt.ps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O6e0sAMRioo (remove dot between htt and ps) … it seems like an interesting metaphor for success (i hope you don’t find it offensive, it isn’t meant that way at all…it just made me think)
anyway, i think “success” is overrated … fulfilling society’s “criteria” of success =/ being happy, living a meaningful life, or valuing yourself as a person. Hell look at all the celebrities who have killed themselves.
You can be rich, have a family, have friends, and still be depressed…external things and external behaviors rarely reflect what people feel inside. Probably a lot of these people who look successful feel worthless and empty too.
Besides…what have the, say, 14 year old youtubers (or people living the american dream, or whatever) done that makes them worth more than you? How do you define worth/worthlessness? there’s nothing about them that makes their life, or anyone else’s, objectively worth more than yours.
(Having said all that, i can understand your tiredness…)
I agree, you can be rich and successful and still be depressed. Hell, I’d probably be still depressed even if I was rich. However, you asked what defines your worth/worthlessness. and I think (according to society) that money defines you. A rich person is always considered successful and great vs a poor man or a homeless man who is considered worthless (by society of course).
true, society does (subjectively) value the rich person over the poor person. but society doesn’t determine your objective value.
the question, i guess, is whether you should build your self-worth off society’s (subjective) criteria for worth (which are flawed, considering all those who satisfy them and still feel worthless)
…if we ever had a choice in the first place …
lol Sky- if you’re already feeling you’re lagging behind in accomplishments and you’re only 21, I can’t imagine what you’ll think when you’re in your 30s and 40s. Brace yourself though, I was hard on myself in my teens and 20s, and well, shit just gets worse the older you get.
Why do you think I’m planning on executing myself. I’m not going to be hanging around when I’m in my 30s. Life was not mean’t for some people, I’m one of them.
It’s mostly luck or circumstances I think.
Why expect yourself to meet society’s expectations? Society is sick and toxic. We should be rich and successful because society says so??? Society should go fuck itself and we all should just be who we are. Look around. Turn on the news for 60 seconds. Then turn it off and digest what you just heard – “crime”, “murder”, “theft”, “misconduct “, all from “society “. We’re since k and paying the price for it. Do you really want to be part of the sewer that is “successful society?” Be original, be you, and screw everyone’s expectations. “They”, in all their apparent success and notoriety, are hollow shells of human discontentment playing to a worldwide audience on the stage of “society.” FUCK them. I’ve never used this many quotation marks in my life.
The problem is the world is setup to screw you if your not rich. Yeah you may see the reality of things but in today’s world I’m constantly pressured even by people I don’t know to live up to the standards society set up for us. And if we don’t were considered, “losers” or “slackers” and even “failures”.
Right, society does set you up for failure if you’re one of the masses, the poor. That’s part of the reason why I haven’t accomplished anything the last decade. When you’re constantly struggling with health, healthcare, bills, and making ends meet, it leaves very little for accomplishing that “great” thing, what that thing is. In my case I have an even harder hurdle than most because of my health issues. Sigh.
Same, literally the same for me as well. Plus once you start struggling and getting behind in a sense your hole gets dug even deeper, and it leaves very little for anything greater.
I don’t care to meet society’s expectations. I care to meet MY own expectations. There are things I want to do for me. Because I want to do it. I feel like a failure because I don’t meet my own expectations.
*sick, not since k.