Everything was so nice

Valentine’s Day just hit me really hard for some reason. I was doing so well recently. I liked my life. But then Valentine’s hits and I’m like “fuck it I’ll just be my own valentine” and I was just going to do good stuff for myself. And that lasted for about half the day. Then I decided “hey why don’t I try to go to dinner with a friend because todays when you hang out with people you care about” and I have like 3 friends. All of which already had plans, which was to be expected because it’s Valentine’s Day. Anyways so my sister was like “hey I’ll go to dinner with you” and we were going to go to the restaurant we used to work at and talk and hang out with people. Anyways she had to cancel on me because she ended up working too late. We made up that dinner tonight but it was shit because we also went with her husband and we just didn’t have conversation. And then I stopped by my current job to get my paycheck and all my coworkers wanted to pay attention to was my cute little nephew. And idk I feel like people don’t care about me sometimes that I’m just an obligation because I don’t have the friendships and I work way to much. And I just want someone I can wake up to in the morning and do stuff with. But the closest I have is a fuckbuddy. I can’t even call him my friends with benefits because we aren’t friends. We don’t talk outside of texting each other to hook up once every few weeks. I’ve known this guy for over a year and we got along great when we used to work together but now when we see each other it’s just small talk and sex. I’m working 60hrs a week right now and there is no one in my life who cares about what I’m doing right now. No one who asks me when I’m working so we can make plans outside that. I wake up I go to work and I come home and I don’t do anything else. I don’t want this anymore. I don’t want it. I just want one person. One person to talk to me first about making plans instead of me making the plans. Just one person. The only person who texts me to do stuff is my fuckbuddy and the only reason he does that is because he’s horny. This week just fucking sucks and I just need a day to sleep and drive around and explore the world on my own and start my own life. Because I don’t have a life. I don’t. All I do is work and no one cares. No one fucking cares.