Just like everybody else does.
Ah, k perhaps Hatful of hollow wasn’t the happiest record to put under the needle but I’ve had a productive couple of days sorting, tidying my flat.. O_o Making it nice.. O_O So I hopefully no longer look and feel like a hoarder and I will be far more motivated to paint and much more easier to do so. It has been quite emotional (even minus Morrissey) coming across things from the past and quite lengthy too (I’m so easily distrac- bee!!) and I’m such a flipping emo all it takes is a receipt or hair of a previous colour for me to reminisce but I’m nearly there and it’s getting easier- I might be able to vacuum soon.. @_@
I guess the reason I am posting this (apart from being for those who talk to me) is for anyone in a similar situation to me or not, I strongly recommend it. It’s emotional and at first its incredibly hard but once you get going you start to feel a faint sense of pride and suddenly the metaphorical cage that you live in is slightly easier to bear and even has a hint of feng-sui about it.. It occupies and cleanses the mind and once it’s done there’s more room (“we can do so many activities!!”) to be creative and process. Dont get me wrong, I could easily be posting tomorrow or the next day from a bridge or pre- blade but just perhaps I won’t for just a little while longer for having done this. All I can think about is getting it done so I can fill my sketchbooks and my walls.. Much love to all. I would not have even made it this far without you and I mean that, I’m not just saying it. Xxxx
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That’s cool, I feel like that too. Life has been going breezy.
<3 love this. Send me art for my walls 😀 and I too am considering a major hair change I love my long locks so I won't go super short but maybe a few inches and purple or blue or rainbow even idk yet. I have had a roller coaster of a week went from being ok to just not and I broke my streak from self harm so I got mad at that, and I haven't been sober in over a week, maybe once I move the distractions of unpacking will calm my mind? probably will make me worse tho cause so many memories are put in those boxes that I don't want to deal with. So maybe I'll buy a few bottles of alcohol and wallow in self pity.
I’d be happy too 🙂 unpacking and sorting through all your boxes will be hard and emotional and will inevitably stir up unwanted pain but it will also be therapeutic and cleansing. We need to cry sometimes. Some of us more than others. It helps us to process pain and rid our bodies of toxins. Forgive yourself for this week- I hit the bottle too. But you can break the cycle and give this a try instead- if it ends up being to much the bottle will still be there and when you are ready you pick yourself up and try again. I do wish we were nearer, I feel like we would be good friends. <3
I hate crying but I do it a lot lately. I had to suppress tears for my whole marriage because tears come from the eyes of the weak and the weaker you are the more they prey on you. So this whole release thru tears is hard for me but I agree tears need to happen to heal. And when crying doesn’t work my friend tequila is there 🙂
Oh my, its the BEST especially with salt and lime… You cry that bastard prick right out of you.
Oh and I’m human and need to be loved as well we all do. That’s why we’re on this page for each other. Know you’ve got my love, my British princess 😉
And you have mine American one 😉 <3
Can I be the prince ?
For the love of Kenobi, ? of course you can.. *rolls eyes*
That question mark was an unrecognized emoji
^what she said
Einsamkeit, on my introductory post you asked me to forgive my step father for my own sake. Most recently I am faced with this proposal in its most real form, in that upon seeing my brother the other day he says that his father has asked if I would go for a drink with him some time.. Up until now my more.. How should I put this… ” in the background acceptance” or “non- active forgiveness” has stretched to a meal around Xmas time, with other family members, once a year (for the last two years)..
Hmm. What I meant by “Forgive them for they know not what they do.” was that no one in their right mind would hurt another living being.
It doesn’t mean saying “I forgive you” … that’s meaningless anyway. It doesn’t mean you need to have a drink with him or even see him again.
It is just a way of internally coming to terms with what happened. And, to “forgive” means to not judge the person but to recognize that he/she was unconscious (not in his/her right mind) when he/she wronged you.
Hmm.. Well that’s a relief! I would never be able to say to him “I forgive you” and since Ive already confronted him about this and I know I will never get any proper answers perhaps Over the years I’ve already started the process you’re speaking of. I dont think I can or will ever be entirely at peace with it and it still haunts me, every year that Ive prepared myself to go I say to myself “am I really doing this, what are you doing” and when I’m actually sat with him and my bros having “normal” conversation, I sit there as If I’m not really there and I have to pinch myself its so surreal “I can’t believe I’m sat here and he’s showing genuine interest in my life why am I not in hysterics”? But its not all about me. Maybe, deep down he does know and he is unable to accept it for himself and this is his way of redemption.. I found a letter from my eldest younger bro (he turns 20 this April) from when he was still at primary school I hold on to it always to remind myself that I am loved. It always makes me cry. For his 17th I made and illustrated a picture book titled “I remember when..” memories of us growing up. I wish I had some way of showing it to you I may still have it in email form if I can find it but I would have to get to a computer.
It took me quite a while to read this, because I ended up reading the whole post as if it were the rest of the song 😛
A domestic detox doesn’t sound like a bad idea 🙂
Forest! LMAO that’s hilarious 😛 I’m surprised it didnt take you into next week!
Or at least until Sunday, then again, everyday feels like Sunday 😉