I just came across this site a couple hours ago, and decided to join…
Seems everyone kinda does a little intro, so here’s mine…First suicide attempt at 12, most recently was yesterday after my Dr confirmed that I was, in fact, a burden. Been abused for 22 of the 28 years I’ve been alive…umm so many mental and physical disorders and pain it’s not really worth listing.
No friends, very little family (who are under constant re-assurance that I have ‘recovered’), and self employed so no co-workers to force social interaction.
It’s amazing there is a place where suicide and death itself can be discussed so freely, honestly no surprise that isn’t made available as a resource, very happy to have found it. To be able talk openly and honestly without having to include a disclaimer so I’m not hospitalized, victimized, or arrested and detained…that is a freedom I have never known.
30 comments
Welcome. You are no burden here. Talk about whatever (within the sites terms no explaining how you do it whatever) we’re here to listen or read I guess and give support in whatever your decision
Thanks for the welcome message. Still learning the site, best distraction I’ve ever found
Welcome. no burdens here just empathy, compassion and the sharing of pain. I sometimes wonder how some “professionals” come to be.. and then the attitude of society in general reminds me. Hello >virtual hug<
Your dr confirmed you were a burden???
Well I would lose that dr asap … and they shouldn’t be allowed to be a physician if that is their attitude toward a patient. They are doing you no favors in your condition.
Yes a lot of acceptance and understanding is found here. You get support one way or the other whether you are on the ledge wanting to end it or need to be given some help to step away from the ledge, you will find both here.
Welcome and enjoy whatever you get from it. Hope it helps you cope as it does for many others.
Not only told me I was a burden, but also that I was abusive – when she asked how I was feeling my response was ‘fucking awful’ yeah…I swear a lot, she’s been seeing me for years but apparently that’s abuse…news to me. So she loaded me up with the typical dangerous amounts of painkillers and sedatives, and sent me home sobbing. Any attempt at apology or complaint will be construed as manipulation…not sure what to do about that.
Spent all day yesterday convincing myself she was right…not stoked to wake up this morning, but at least I found this (?)
“So she loaded me up with the typical dangerous amounts of painkillers and sedatives, and sent me home sobbing.” — I’m no expert but that sounds like malpractice to me! Before you turn her in though, I’d love to get her phone number and make an appointment.
Welcome to SP, equi. Sorry you’ve had it so tough.
Haha Go get her Witless …. or wait… are you just looking for a Dr Feelgood to assist you with some appropriate pharmaceuticals to accomplish a goal you have? 😉
Equi, please try to find a different primary care doc as the one you have sounds like a snot and doesn’t really give a damn about her patients…. she sounds like a grade A asshole really with a hideous bed side manner worse than many others unfortunately have.
😉
Yep that’s what I thought. 🙂
I once had a doc that just wanted to push pills and she made it clear that suicide wasn’t anything she wanted to discuss. (You can’t make this stuff up!) I was so enamored with her credentials, good looks and otherwise welcoming manner that it took me nearly a year(!) to realize she was wasting time and money and just letting me dig my myself into a grave…
I finally got a shrink who cared..really cared… may be I will not off myself..maybe
hey-welcome and ignore the trolls if any manage to get in here…
wtf?? she “confirmed” you were a burden??? what kind of piece of shit says that?? to anyone…but especially to someone who has lived through so much???
and…swearing is abuse? well that’s news to me too. you weren’t even swearing at the therapist…you were just saying how you felt.
from what you’ve said…she sounds like a shit, insensitive, completely unhelpful person. who shouldn’t even call herself a therapist.
what therapists say is not always the truth. just because she has a “dr.” before her name or whatever says absolutely *nothing* about how much she knows/understands. don’t take her words upon yourself…they aren’t true.
i can’t see how this is a helpful relationship. i suggest switching therapists asap.
and welcome … it is good you found this place … it helps …
Very liberal with the prescription pad, yes…there’s no need for me to have pharmaceutical addictions, but Dr knows best, right? I should clarify – she’s not my therapist, she’s my MD, central command so to speak…. ‘confirmed’ is my interpretation – she flat out told me I was a burden, which I then had to have her repeat, along with the accusations of abuse…put me in total shock. And now even my Dr has abandoned me – fan-fucking-tastic!
I thought so too! She’s under investigation because she’s prescribing too many opiates and people are dieing from it (unfortunately I wasn’t one of those lucky fuckers), so I think it was her way of unloading a chronic pain patient…I’ll happily give you her name and phone number 🙂
If she is being investigated, I doubt she’d be helpful, though. If you’re in USA what state?
Witless – I’m in Canada
Jaded – all scripts were her idea…plus prescription overdose (even with opiates ect) is extremely difficult to achieve, through experience I know it’s not a viable option
I think I’ll be done with Dr’s for a while, there is literally no mental health care here, they are closing facility doors in the province, and those taken to triage often commit suicide while waiting to be seen, happened as recently as a couple weeks ago
Totally didn’t mean this to be me bitching about the incompetence of health care providers, though I’m sure it’s something every person on here can relate to – it’s certainly nothing new
Jesus Christ!! Talk about hanging people out to dry! No mental health care! People committing suicide in the waiting room!? Wtf? That in itself is insane.
As far as prescription overdose / and addictions here in the states, it’s a HUGE epidemic! They are cracking down slowly on drs and prescribing certain amounts at a time, but it’s still a major issue here.
welcome! I just came across this site yesterday and ive found it very helpful, I hope you do as well. It feels good to get things off your chest and here you can without anyone judging, have a nice day xoxo
Equi: We may be neighbors of sorts, but very far apart. Not a viable option? It is for me. FIgured it out, finally. I will not ask for your stash (it would be feloneous). *Sigh*
Maybe an MSW would be a good option? Or a peer group? You probably need to unpack all the baggage this “doctor” gave you and shouldn’t have to do that alone.
**Felonious**
No baggage from the Dr – heartless *****, I shouldn’t have let her upset me for a minute – I do unfortunately have heavy withdrawal to look forward to next month courtesy of her, so I’ll be cursing her name again then too lol I say not viable cuz script OD fucking sucks and has like less than a 13% success rate, usually you just wake up in vomit with your guts rotting out like I did this morning.
I spoke to one of my other Dr’s, and they want to move me onto morphine instead of oxy (they don’t get in as much trouble for the prescription)…im sure I don’t have to explain the irony there…so maybe it is better to go cold turkey – haven’t really decided what to do as of yet. Need to deal with other shit first, like trying to get out of bed and shower :p
Wow.
I have a high tolerance also it really sucks like my body denies pain meds and really all meds after time. I take morphine for my back when it’s really bad it’s the only thing that even remotely works. I can take a whole bottle of sleeping pills and it will knock me out but only for a few hours it’s a curse really cause there’s no way I can od. I’m sorry that the health care there is so jacked up. My dr throws pills at me all the time but like I said they only work for a little while and it’s been that way since I was a kid.
Equi – morphine? …. what the hell? Do all of these people know you are suicidal?… do they not believe you? Oh my god! It sounds like absolute lunacy to me, these drs.
I know, right? It’s not taken seriously here at all. The only solution they have is to put you in a lock down facility, which ultimately just causes more stress. They are all aware of my mental health issues (bi-polar II, borderline personality, dissociative personality, extreme social anxiety ect) but they can’t treat that – they do think they can treat physical pain, so that’s what they do. Like you said, it’s an absolute epidemic, and yes complete lunacy – I’m regularly given dosages of opiates that could be lethal, combos of percocet, fentynol, morphine, plus the sedatives and sleeping pills they have me on, I’m at an end with Dr’s. On another 18 month waiting list to see a psychiatrist – if I make it cool, if not that’s fine too
It’s almost like they are trying to kill you.
if only my tolerance wasn’t so high my last hospital trip probably would have done it
I was 17 when I first attempted suicide I’m 26 now been single my whole life yup zero GF. I’m getting tired of hearing my family talk about all of my cousins love story’s it’s annoying but there’s a lot in my story.
Enough of me
Welcome to the site my friend
Thank you for the welcome. I’m divorced, and everything from the day I started dating him till the last night I saw him was ugly…hearing love stories doesn’t do anyone any good…I have resolved to be single for the rest of my life now, so I think being single is a very wise choice! Point me to your story, I’d happily read it friend 🙂
Wow so your entering in my place. I’ll have to warn you entering yourself to being single after a serious scar from a divorce is very painful and lonely. It takes time to accept and understand don’t worry I never been in a relationship in my life before but I do have a scar from someone it’s annoying but it’s also something I have never posted here I’ve posted pics of me here and created a story blog but I only explained 70%. If you need a friend you can always email me it’s the same as my username sadlife958 @gmail.com
Single life is how I’m gonna go from here on out. Being single no one can hurt you any more than you already hurt. Although if I meet the right man of woman I may change my mind? I hope not cause I’m done with pain in my life