Some time ago here on SP I’ve met a girl called Emily. When I’ve met her she felt very sad and suicidal. I did my best to comfort her and stop her for committing suicide. Since we were 1500 Km from each other, I could only help her with my emails (which I wrote maybe 30-40 in total).
Luckily my messages prevented her from killing herself, but now when I am in the greatest need for a female companionship because I feel extremely lonely, she won’t even respond to my messages and I know for sure that she’s seen them 🙁
Yeah, some people can be very ungrateful.
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How do u know for sure she’s seen your emails
I wouldn’t take it personally. Internet relationships rarely hold the same level of ‘realness’ in peoples minds that knowing someone irl does.
Even if she has seen your messages, most likely she just didn’t feel able to deal with another person’s crisis right now. If she’s in a better place, maybe she was afraid of getting dragged back into thinking about suicide herself. Like I said, don’t take it personally. I know it’s hard, but I think the only way to find ‘dependable’ support is to reach out irl.
1) Online friends are usually meh. Everyone knows this. Best to make as many as possible and then see which few stick to you.
Once you have online friends you have to take care of them like any other friend garden; regular contact, sharing, remembering important dates and narratives, etc.
2) Help isn’t a transaction. It is a gift.
3) If she ever said thank you, then she has shown gratitude. Full stop.
4) She may not be in a place in her life where she can help you or even acknowledge you.
5) I know you are in distress and it’s tough. We are still here for you. Many SPers would gladly pretend to be a woman for you. In fact, many already do. I’m looking at you freeroma.
6) Good for you for seeking help! Too often, when the walls close in, we stew in our own delicious juices of sadness. Yeah, don’t be that pot roast!
Number 5 cracked me up.
2) Yup ! Well said.
3) True
4) Very true. Also, this goes to show how much she is lost in her ego. She showed you attention while she got what she wanted out of you. Once she got that, you were nothing to her.
There is a very apt word to describe this – objectification … using people as an object or means to an end. Sadly, this is how almost all human interaction works.
I struggle with this. I have a handful of irl friends i have 1 irl friend who knows everything about me and she is the one person who’s always been here for me. but I care just as much about my online friends as i do about my irl friends. and I am the type of person who would totally meet my online friends irl if I had the chance. but it’s hard when our online friends don’t respond and give up on that friendship because even tho you’ve never met face to face i feel you have a deeper connection you know each others souls and thats deeper than a face to face relationship in my opinion. the hardest part is knowing if that online friend is being honest cause there are people who are online living a fake life and lying about everything. idk it’s hard for me to trust people because of this but people irl also lie to you. ok sorry i rambled. but I’m sorry your friend stopped talking to you maybe they are in a bad place in their head.
Why are you explicitly posting about her and stating what I assume is her real name? That isn’t very nice, and this sort of behavior will dissuade people here from wanting to correspond with you in the future.
Also, people aren’t objects who will “always be there for you when you’re lonely,” not IRL or online. It depends on what they want, and what their schedule is like, and how talkative they feel.
If you try to be nice to someone, and apologize if you ever argue with them, they will be more likely to want you in their life. If you didn’t do anything insulting (prior to this post now… *cough*), it’s possible the other person just didn’t feel like they connected with you. That’s a common thing that happens when you meet new people, whether it was initially face-to-face or online. If you didn’t TRY to push them away by being hurtful previously, then don’t take it personally. (And stop putting up public posts about SP members with details that should remain your private business.)
Ironically, I saw this post before anyone commented on it, and now, I realize that a few people shared my viewpoints…
My main issue with what you said, is that you make it sound like this person owes you, just because (insert what you did here). Friendships nor relationships work like that. Noone likes a person who believes that they are owed something in return for kindness… (this includes but is not limited to sex). Kindness doesn’t work that way either . Doing things out of the goodness of one’s heart, or because you truly want to help someone out of a bad situation because it’s relatable, never equates to because I did ABC for something I should get EFG.
I also wanted to acknowledge the words of SeeSmith and Neph, literally all of them, word for word. No need to even repeat anything, just scroll up and carefully ponder what they have said to you.
Final point: this website is, believe it or not, a place for suicidal people, anxious people, depressed people, etc, and we all go through our own personal shit at the end of the day. People get wrapped up in their own lives. It happens. It’s difficult to think of another’s situation when we see things through our own eyes, where we are the main character in our own stories and everyone else is playing a supporting cast. There are so many reasons why she may not have answered you, and I’m not even talking about posible technical difficulties…
Anyway, take care of yourself.
Trey, the mindless gamer