Where i am.

February 16th, 2017by Dcoltoniii

  1. I don’t really know how to start this.. I’m just kinda gonna let it pour out. I am currently 18 years old. I know most people will tell me I’ve not experienced responsibilities or what it’s like to be an adult. I understand that but I don’t believe it. So I guess to start.. when I was 6 was when I first started having my tourettes episodes. None of my family understood it and I wasn’t yet diagnosed. I was often screamed at or punished or sometimes hit for trying to annoy my family. When i turned 8 i was diagnosed and my entire family broke away. Around the same time my parents became addicted to pain pills. I don’t remember how i became aware of it but until I turned 14 i believed it was my fault that they did out of guilt with what happened to me. When i was 14 to 16 the addiction was at its worst. We never stayed in a house for longer than 5 months, even ended up living with both sets of my grandparents and even my great grandmother. Decemeber 2015, while I was 16 was the first time i was actually homeless. My parents had both been arrested after my grandmother told cops they assaulted her. My father’s friend was currently away in Asia and allowed us to stay at his house. In February of 2015 we found a house we could rent. In june of 2015 i got my first job. My first check being for 271$. I bought a laptop and within 3 days it got taken back. My parents took the money and every other check after saying it was for rent and other things we needed. July 27, 2015 i became homeless for the second time. We stayed in my father’s truck for the first week. I was supposed to be enrolled in a medical program immediately during my junior year. I missed the first week and only went the end to last day my second week. I was disenrolled the third. We would spend a week or 9 days in a hotel and the remainder of the week in a building where there was no heat, a/c, or water. For heat, we had candles lit. My first attempt was in October 2015. In November, my cousin took my family in and we stayed on the floor for about a month. In febuary, they moved out. March, my depression got worse even though the situation had gotten better. I took my second attempt at my life. In April and may i met a girl each month. The first didn’t work out and the second was going better so I improved. In june, I quit my job and took my third attempt. I was in a coma for 4 days and it sent me into seizures. I recovered to messages explaining everyone would be better off dead and that it was my fault now that others were depressed. July 2016, I heard about the house i was staying in going into forclosure. I started working the second job I ever had. I got fired in november the day after I got a promotion because they had too many people. I immediately got my third job in December. I was only scheduled 10 days. I quit and got my fourth and current job. Decemeber 16 the forclosure was finalized and we no longer lived in the house. We were back in hotel rooms. In January 2017, after failing the majority of my junior year and the beginning semester of my senior year I dropped out hoping that i could focus on work and when the time came I could get my GED or move to online school. February 11. My truck was hit by someone going 60 mph. It was declared a freak accident and I got told my truck wouldn’t be covered by my insurance. February 12, I took my fourth attempt at my life drunk. February 16th, today. I write this. This story of where I am.
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